cont'd internship

okay, it has been third week in internship and so far so good. I'm getting used to the task given, well improved day by day. Well done to the point I can do it in 1 hr from 3 hrs initially. Now, I'm getting bored because I dont know what to do anymore once the task completed. I always thought it would be better if I'm friendly from the birth, like this could be fun thing to do, I can go ask people around. There's about 36 station and 40 processes with 133 team members involved like exciting meh to discover. But nope, I'm introvert as heck, I only sit at my place, asking people only at office to entertain me haha. Bukan entertain la tapi more to giving me work.

I used up all my free time in internship by doing my report, some writing on ilmiah I got from twitter. Angelpakaigucci is very good writer btw haha. Do follow him. An anonymous writer who wrote about islamic facts and stories., recommended!

But apart from that, Im very free and bored.

But this doesnt stop me from giving up haha

I've got a crush on this one man in my department. He's about abuya's age. Well, age doesnt define you kan hahaha. A very calm man, jawa, berjiwa muda sikit, still very mature. Not that syok sendiri pikir dia muda, but hey, I wouldnt know his age, if he didnt tell me. He do sport, cycling. That's why he looks younger. A little la, he still age like normal people. He can hang around younger people without being awkward and all. Or maybe because he's not that chatty. Cool cool liddat.

Well, I never felt like this since my school years. Like demmit this is exciting and every day is like a new adventure. Like today, you would be kecewa and all, and the next hour, you would be excited and happy, and you would smile all the way to home. And it would be the same for the next day and you wouldn't know when and how. As I said, it would be a new adventure everyday!

But that's just part of everything. I mean, I'm just halfway thru my degree life, and I cant believe I'm going to graduate (on time, amin to that) and have a job! Like hey people I have to support myself and help my parents. They should have been resting and we're the one who should support them. I should take things seriously now. But demmit i felt so fast time goes by, I'm already 22 years old man. Still have many things to discover!

This internship gives me a lot to look at, and I'm thankful for that. Striving for successful life and beyond!

ok that's it, chow.
xoxo

Internship in Volvo

Assalamualaikum,

hello and very good morning everyone!

It has been very long time since the last time I've been here. Been very busy lately. Maybe not. But well, I thought that this blog thing doesn't excite me the way it were before. But hey, looks whos back?!

Okay relating to the topic we're here today. I got placed in Volvo Car Manufacturing Malaysia, located in Shah Alam, Selangor, specifically in production team. Here, you will get to see the on hand experience on how the Volvo cars is being made, process by process. Although some processes have been cut off due to cost purposes, but the the assemblies of the body part still happen here. I've been longing to get here because abuya basically works here and he always bring stuff from Volvo making me curious on how he worked, what is he working for, all the rules and regulations they applied, the system, everything! It excites me very very much.

Having abuya in Volvo got me an easy access to have internship there. easier, not that easy actually. Well, Im being serious on going there, so abuya helped me. Prepared every resume and document needed very very early because it still a bargain whether I will get it or not. Depending on places available. And also having him as my dad actually putting more pressure on me. Because hey, everyone knows my dad. That's what you called working society. Everyone like, "Anak Rahim ya?" "udah gedey (besar)" the jawanese la. All the questions related like "anak ke berapa?" "anak keempat?!" because everybody thinks I'm the eldest considering my dad is 53 and I'm 22. Well, that's not the case actually, because here, everyone get married late (especially the men), there's also some who didnt even got married yet. That's just it then. I will continue on this later.

Salam!

123

Assalamualaikum,
it has been so long since my last post. Okay, for previous weeks and months, so many thing have changed.

Being a NYDP

I swear, never in my life that I imagine to be bearing this much of burden. C'mon, this isnt a child's play. This is a total serious matter. Ingatkan setakat jadi exco pun tinggi dah, sekali NYDP. For three days, I cant sleep since the day I got nominated. Semua masalah saya pikir (sampai sekarang pun), tekanan semua tu kat saya. Those hows and ifs. Saya kena berurusan dengan semua orang, yang atas dan yang bawah. Saya taknak saya yang menyebabkan orang bawahan saya terbeban. Kalau orang bawah saya buat salah, saya yang kena (I mean including the YDP la). Kalau orang atas membebankan kitorang, orang bawah dok buat demonstrasi la apa la, sebab nak pertahankan hak la kununnya.

Saya pun terpikir kalau orang tak dengar cakap saya, arahan saya. Risau sebab it will affect the whole system. Dah nak setiap hari terpikir. Nak jdi cerita, saya ada keluar jumpa kawan sekolah. Saya ada tanya pendapat Insyirah. Me/Insyirah

"how eh, nak orang dengar cakap kita?"
"sapa yang pegang hati dia? tanya la kat siapa yang pegang hati dia."
(dia nak cakap doa kat Allah, if you dont understand *rolling eyes)

I swear that hits me hard and make me felt stupid. So much stress where you already know the solution.

Oh and btw, if you dont have such experience, dont say it's a measly thing to be stressed out for. You are not qualified to said so.

Raya

Tahun ni raya macam itu jela. Sebab raya masa final. Tapi sekurangnya, dapat jumpa balik kawan sekolah lama. Budak kelas Abk'95, sekolah seksyen 18 dulu. Dah 2 tahun tak jumpa. Tak sangka ramai yang boleh datang masa tu. Ramainya boleh buat full house ha. Lepas tu budak kelas kat UiTM ni pun datang untuk kali pertama menapak to my humble house. Dari dulu sembang nak datang, akhirnya sembangan jadi realiti. Mungkin sebab dah cukup 40 kali cakap kut hahaha. Tapi, terima kasih datang semua hehe. Sorry tak mampu buat banyak sebab datang time mak ayah saya tengah kerja. Nak buat makanan pun, korang datang bukan sikit, datang ramai-ramai. So makan angin jela hehe.

Tapi selain tu, tak rasa semangat pun nak sambut raya tu. Lagipun, masa bulan Ramadan tu macam banyak masa disia-siakan. Pikir hal dunia. Lepas tu terabai la bulan ramadan dengan perkara lagha, lagi melagha kan. Astaghfirullah. Hanya Allah sahaja yang tahu betapa ruginya rasa. Betapa membuak-buak rasa nak putar balik masa tu, demi nak manfaatkan setiap detik tu. Allahu. Tapi, menangis air mata darah pun, masa tu takkan datang balik. I can only hope for His mercy towards me, or maybe even grant me another holy Ramadan for years ahead, InsyaAllah.

Result

Result pun dah sampai la baru-baru ni. Dengan exam barai, dengan dapat jawatan berat. Siud betul. Tapi, sebenarnya saya dikira bersyukur sebenarnya dengan result saya tu. Saya dapat GPA 2.96. Tapi takde gagal. Semua memang B solid bhai. Okay, tak boleh la pikir camni. Nak taknak saya kena sedih, biar ada tekanan sikit. Semangat sikit nak belajar.

On one side saya gembira sebab, berbanding kawan yang tak buat apa-apa, saya yang ada join komander, still dapat pointer tu. Tapi sedih gakla, sebab masalah sekarang, JPA saya kena bagi sebab kemerosotan akademik sebab dapat pointer bawah 3. I need to find my lecturer for this, Takpela, semoga dipermudahkan urusan.

Apa-apa pun saya bersyukur la dengan semua nikmat yang saya dapat. Too much, I can ever wish for. From myself to my circle of people and my surrounding. Food I can ever be craving for, clothes I can wear, variety colour to pick (my oh my the pleasure in picking colours to my life haha), my gadget, and everything that I can define to be grateful of.

oh and happy 3 months and more to come, thank you.

suu zhon

Nothing much happen for the past week. And so I thought it would be. But, it's actually there is. There's so many things happened. Or I might just freaking out for nothing. Whatever happens, I need to calm my mind well.

Okay, I think, I should be careful with my words. With my selection of words. Since I'll be the one who do the talking, especially to the one who's older than me. I'm being the representative now. I think I need to act fast. Haha. So easy to say ha.

For now, I think, it will go smoothly, but theres so many things Im lacking of. I cannot predict the future. Well, this isnt about superstitious assumption. This is what you call, our sixth sense, psychologically. Yes, we have the capability. Maybe because I dont have enough experience. I cannot predict the future. Should I just watch and learn. Or should I start to act dumbly. Nope, I need to start asking around. Since this is my prime time. This is my show time

I'm starting to build my self confidence little by little. You need to just push yourself a little further. Get out of your safe zone. We must remember that our safe zone gives us no problem as well as profit. So, get your ass out and get out from there. Before it's too late. Try talk whatever you think, whatever came across to your mind.

Well, all the best me.

p/s: oh I'm having my final this week, and will continue after raya. 

faith

Orang cakap tak pernah terjadi situasi seperti ini. Its either people think it’s funny to vote someone like this or they have faith on me

Well, nobody has born perfect. I have this kind of voice that doesn’t seem convincing. I want to share what I feel. But, somehow people think it’s a battle on who have the worst scenarios. And then, I realized. People are expecting me to understand them. People have faith on me. I don’t want to disappoint them, might as well, break their heart.

I hear what people’s opinion and on. Sometimes, I just wonder, how I hear their opinion while they’re not as perfect as they talked. They are just loud talker. But, because of what they have been facing all this time, I respect them for that. Anyway, this burden is on me. Not anyone else’s.

People should stop talking this and that, because, you don’t have the authority. Once you’re in my shoes. Only then, you can talk whatever you want.

I really want to thank my partner, for giving me advice and on. Also, to those who still support me. The one who gave me advices, encouragement, or even those nice words to say for making me feel better of myself. Anyhow, nothing comes in mistake. It’s either a lesson or nice memory. 

Pos laju huhu

Assalamualaikum,

Kali ini cerita sikit. Ambil iktibar pun bolehh. Saya ada beli satu benda ni online. That item was sent and haven't got it until now. I got my tracking no. and I've already check on it. It's says that that item was dispatched out bla bla bla. So, I waited for few days, in case it's just plain late. I'm a very patient woman huhu. But then, it's almost a week already, without any news. Saya guna tracking number everyday untuk tahu status of my item tu. Then still nothing. It's very disappointing actually. Pos laju disappoint me.

Saya dah buat aduan (twice), and still waiting for news from them. I wanted to call pos laju, but then nobody even answer it. Why bother having no. to contact, if we can't reach them? bullshit. Lepas tu, I tried alternative way, using twitter acc. By tagging @pos4u, if I'm not mistaken. Thank God, they answer my question and all. But, still need time to know the reason bla bla bla.

And so, I'm waiting until now...

And to make things worse, I checked out all the blog about this kind of problem. Banyak gila masalah pos laju ni sebenarnya. And we cannot press charge against them if the borang pos laju isn't written accordingly. And that's what happen to me. If and only if my item or anybody else's, was stolen by any pekerja pos laju, they will win fortune la lahai. It's like opening birthday present. And that item, actually quite expensive. Well, it's about my right, my trust towards this so called no 1 courier service in malaysia.

So, do pray for me. And oh my advice. Never buy things online, if you don't want to take the risk. Don't buy expensive things online. Write everything accordingly so you can press charge toward pos laju if anything happen. Just spent extra money for the safety of your item to reduce the risk, you cheapskate. Don't use pos laju.

2015 wrap up

Semester break has finally come and it is exactly on the new year season. 2015 hit me hard in the head, literally. 

I had an accident and got 2 scar from in. ON MY HEAD hahaha. Well, I’m not sure why, but I’m somehow happy for that. The feeling of satisfied on doing something although am not sure what. It’s either having accident (well, obviously not) or how I handle everything well enough. I’m bleeding at that time and everyone said that I almost look like a ghost, you know those blooded ghost on the set. But, I calmly come to my sense and sit. And the medic quickly did something to my head and I was all set up for my further treatment. Wanna pat myself for a job well done. You have done it maturely. Hahaha. 

Komander work make a hard time for me too. But, choosing between quit or continue this work, I rather continue and have all the hard time. I have all the friends and help I can possibly get. As for me being an introvert make everything hard, but with this, having a bigger circle of friends is not impossible. And then, all the experience of being a komander. MasyaAllah. If you ever be in my shoes and see it in the bigger picture, you would understand. Seniors helped me so much. I always wanted sisters that protect and been there for you. Other than my family. Even your family sometimes cannot help you. I’m so grateful for that. Also, every knowledge I ever get here, I’m so thankful for that. Because we never ever get a manual to be good on something, not without experience. Although I ever had a very hard time, I will try to see the silver lining behind all the clouds, surely.

For my classmates. I don’t know if this will be permanent, but I pray for the No’s. They are likely to be drifting their selves away. I’m not sure whether I’m just being paranoid or it’s a fact. Everyone’s denial sounds like agreeing. We’re no longer have the same classes but only a few people though. Perhaps, everything are simply misunderstanding. But even if they ever misunderstood and get angry at each other, how to get to the way we were? One misunderstanding leads more of that. Now, everything seems so awkward. I always make fun of myself and ask dumb questions. So they will react with each other and laugh just like old times. But, there’s no longer reaction. They literally ignore me. I looked pathetic and I’m afraid that I’ll stop trying and no longer care. Well, I just hope it’s not as bad as I think. And for guys, everything seems okay for me, perhaps. Is it impossible for one to be close friends even with not seeing each other everyday? 

I hope we have a prosperity life ahead and may our hardships and mistakes be just the boundary for our success

Appreciation post

Assalamualaikum,

hehe, yes, saya update sikit blog saya. Nama pun budak takde keje. Aku rasa sape amik csc best la, dpt edit html ni. Nasib aku ada blog, boleh belajar serba serbi. hehu.

Kita cerita la pasal kakak aku ni. Role model yang baik untuk adik adik dia. Dia amik pharmacy dkt UiTM Puncak Alam dulu. Now, working at Hospital Selayang. Seorang yang serba serbi okay, cuma dia ni cerewet siktla. She has baby face fair skin, and she's the shortest among us. Since she got my grandma's gene. Anyhow, physical is nothing. 

Dia dulu dapat jpa scholarship. Although amount yang dia dapat tu banyak, dia still berjimat cermat masyaAllah. Benda yang dia beli, yang mahal la, laptop, tablet untuk drawing (and dia jual drawing dia tu), psp dengan nintendo, and a smartphone (until now, almost 4 years dh pakai phone tu), eh wait, phone tu dia guna duit gaji dia part time dulu. Tapi ada juga dia kadang-kadang belanja kitorang. Dia belikan aku alquran warna biru sebab aku request haha. And now, using her leftover jpa scholarship tu, dia beli rumah sebagai deposit. Yeah, belum bekerja lagi time tu. Atas perjanjian antara parents, dorang bayarkan dulu. But who cares, sekarang dia dah ada rumah under her name. Memang aku salute la dia.

Sekarang keje di hospital selayang, gaji pun byk. and she's only 24. Aku rasa, dia sangat blessed. She is someone umi dengan abuya can rely on. Dia akan try buat semua benda yang umi dengan abuya request, yang masuk akal la. Im not saying yang dia ni senang je nak dapat semua tu. Pharmacy course is tough mann, jpa pun bagi takat lulus dah ok. Sekarang she's having hard time kat hospital selayang tu sebab junior kan, and busy. Gonna be that way for another 2 to 3 years maybe. But, totally worth it.

Anyhow, shes a nice young lady. Jaga ikhtilat pergaulan. Tak pernah ada boyfriend. When she doesnt have this kind of relationship, almost every day of her life is devoted for both parents and kitorang siblings dia. Yelah, dia selalu duduk rumah je, who cares. Dia selalu ada masa kitorang perlukan. haha. Adala jugak bad side dia, tapi good side dia shine more. There's a lot than midst the eye.

So,

Happy belated birthday sue. Saya harap sue selalu diberkati dan disayangi Allah dalam apa jua sudut. Semoga bertemu dengan jodoh yang baik. Semoga dilimpahi rezeki yang banyak. Selalu ingatkan saya bila saya lalai. Lebiu. 

100

Assalamualaikum,

alhamdulillah, ada berita baik kawan kawan. aku dapat jpa. insyaAllah 12 ogos ni, aku hantar borang pe semua. Then, nak cerita yang sekarang bulan syawal. Selamat hari raya maaf zahir batin. Sekrang masih beraya dengan family sendiri, lepas ni dengan family awak pulak. hahaha ni semua bahana budak suka buat pick up line. Kan dah terikut ikut. 

So, raya kali ini aku ada dua kali konvoi. Satu untuk kawan imtiyaz sekolah sevens, lepas tu dengan budak abk sekolah 18. The thing about having friends around your neighborhood, visiting become sooo easy. Hahaha. And lagi lagi sekrang semua dah reti bawak kereta. Apa lagi. Konvoi sekali bawak 5 buah kereta. Tapi yelah, budak budak kaya en, ada kereta sendiri. Aku ni apa je ada, lesen pun takde hahahaha. Takpe takpe, aku akan cuba sedaya upaya untuk jadi orang yang kaya dunia, akhirat, using my own will. but actually, im going to get my license starting this saturday hahaha. Doakan aku. Bukannya aku taknak tau dulu. Tapi takut. Well, having license is like a certificate that shows your capability to drive vehicle. It's a hugee responsibility. You can die, i can die, anyone can die sebab accident between vehicles ni tau. So siapa yang dah ada lesen tu, please drive safe. Sebab, I wont tolerate any mistakes from any reckless driver, especially if it cost my beloved ones life. And I myself will try my best to be a responsible driver *wink. and now the price has increase about 50 percent. so, i better succeed this no matter what.

ha lagi satu, pernah tak ada satu masa tu en, rasa rendah diri sangat sangat , sampai tetiba je boleh snap. macam aku la, aku tak balas ws, mesej or whatsoever. Aku rasa nak marah je dengan orang. lagi lagi sekarang en ada instagram. Since raya masa tu semua orang macam cantik gila namatey. Yeah, small minded me. Anyhow, things happen. Im feeling so insecure. Aku start benci orang cantik ni. hahahaha pebenda en. Kadang kadang jela menyampah. Sebab, dorang ada certain tu memang sombong, tapi orang still worship dia like whutt. Lepas tu kawan dengan orang sepesen dia je. Orang maintenance tinggi, pakai beg branded, hangout kat cafe mahal. And they didnt even earn the money the spent. Shishh.

Bila aku tengok diorang en, aku macam entahla. Aku tak tahu apa orang pikir. dorang cakap kecantikan bukan segalanya. Tapi, typical man akan tetap memilih orang cantik instead of yang tak berapa. Typical la en. Ciri ciri dorang sama je pulak tu. Yang putih, bibir merah, muka kurus macam not so tulang, skinny. Pebenda sehh. Racism. Aku tak kisah la, tapi kawan aku semua consume produk kecantikan, i dont even know where they get it. Semata mata nak jadi the ideal type of woman everyone wanted. Aku sendiri rasa la jugak insecure nya en hahaha, bila orang cakap aku gelap. what do you expect bro, orang kawad muka putih? Tapi im very particular with any product yang ada.

I just wanna say to everyone who has been through what Ive been through. Love yourself. Sebab aku sendiri memerlukan orang untuk cakap macam ni kat aku. Bila aku rasa down. Takpe kalau tak pakai mahal-mahal, jaga kecantikan bukan untuk orang lain tapi diri sendiri. takpe kalau tak ikut trend. Its okay. In the end, just do what make you happy. or I think you better think how to pleasure Allah. Aku rasa itu adalah salah satu cara untuk build self confidence. Since you got nothing to lose. Allah suffice you in every way. Sebab tiada benda yang Allah suruh, membebankan kau, menyusahkan kau. Its for your own good.

yeah I know, this just hit the spot dude. Im reminding myself about something I have known. soo, selamat beramal. hahaha

Habis sudah

Assalamualaikum,

Maka akan berakhirlah sesi pembelajaran dan aktiviti komander untuk sem ini. It was such a blessing moment if we go through one by one page that has been written down. Pengerusi kami sudah menjadi mantan, new MPKK have been nominated and won the heart of majority. Allah takkan bagi sesuatu terjadi tanpa izin Nya. InsyaAllah, ini yang terbaik.

Next, a lot of things came to my mind. How awful an organization can be. How people can disrespect you and being so unprofessional . How people can be cruel to people who works under them. How people play with words and cannot actually answer what people ask for. How responsibility cannot be a child’s play. How certain things seems so small, yet so valuable. How to stand up when talking to people that can talk like a bullet train. There is too many, I don’t wanna brag about it here.

But well, since sem ni dah nak habis, benda buruk jadi iktibar, benda baik jadi teladan. Perasaan ni bercampur baur tau. A little bit sad, a little bit happy, a little bit this and that. Sedih sebab komander yang bagus akan takde lagi dalam medan peperangan komander ni. Lepas tu happy sikit sebab am going to have juniors. Im so excited. This is what I’ve been waiting for. For next next sem actually. It was as if I’m going to have new member of the family. Yeay. And since, I’ve known the flow of how things work, Im started to feel a little bit confident about this. I’m hoping new member of guys. Haha

Apa apa pun, kena teruskan perjuangan ini. Saya takkan menyerah kalah. Mungkin sekejap, lepas tu bangun balik. Saya akan habiskan benda ni sebab saya dah pun memulakannya. Doakan kami.

143

Assalamualaikum wbt.

Setelah sekian lama saya menghilang, here I am. It's been a long hectic month. Since having jobs and responsibilities, I dont even have time to study. I almost forgot why I got into this UiTM for.

First and foremost, result saya hanyut, memang tahap dah kedasar laut la senang cerita. Tapi bukan sebab busy keseluruhannya tau, tapi subjek sem ni memang membunuh la orang cakap. No wonder seniors semua cakap macam tu. But anyhow, Im gonna try my best. C'mon Ainul, baru dua sem. Apa yang dah lepas biar lepas. Lagipun, nak dijadikan cerita jugak, takde rezeki je dapat markah. Macam calculus tu saya buat silly mistakes, which make me wanna kill myself hundred thousand times without hurting me. hmmm. And then, before that pun, calculus gak, saya tak tahu apa yang masuk, and then benda tu yang banyak markah. Which, this is wholly my fault for not asking people. I asked but somehow I missed that part of chapter. This include hydrocarbon. Hydrocarbon ni skema dia kita tak tahu kan, so I assume it would be the same as what we've learn in asasi, and yet, nope. Thermo memang kelaut la cerita dia, hahaha. But okay dah sekarang kut.

And then, about responsibilities, Komander. I assume everyone thinks I'm crazy for joining this thing. Me myself thought so too. Idk man. Somehow, I think I was destined to join this. Is this reason valid. There's almost no profit at all. If we compare to Palapes and suksis and all the navy form the bottom to the top. We dont even have uniform 1, which unit beruniform use for istiadat and stuff. We only have 1 uniform, used for most likely until we graduate (mungkin gak tukar). We juniors didnt get any elaun ke hapa. Asyik kena maki hamun bla bla bla and dipersalahkan. Benda yang saya pikir sekarang ni, cuma sape nak jaga junior kitorang nanti. Tu je saya pikir.

Tapi tipula kan, tak dapat apa-apa langsung. Mungkin dari segi fizikal kitorang tak dapat apa-apa. Penat adalah. Tapi, the knowledge of becoming a person who capable to do almost everything, yep, I learnt it from here. Kitorang diberi pendedahan about how stuff works. Somehow, benda macam ni bukannya boleh dapat tepi jalan kan. Ada ke ko tahu kat mana nak beli satay mentah untuk dibakar? en en, pernah terpikir tak? Kau tahu tak even sekecil-kecil kesilapan kau buat, boleh meragut nyawa orang. Who knows? tapi kalau dah ajal dia nak buat cane en. Tapi kita prevent kay. Lepas ni, insya Allah saya akan buat yang terbaik. Ini semua sebab saya nak pastikan saya buat all out.

Tapi yang pasti, blessing yang paling best adalah kawan kawan. How komander ni memang boleh kuatkan bonding. Kau bayangkan, kau ada almost 100 person to be your new family. Homai. Cuba bayangkan dalam 50 orang macam tu, wish happy birthday kat kau. Kat dc, kat level, kat memana la bila jumpa dorang. Hadiah dah tak kisahla masa tu. Kau pikir, dorang sanggup wish kau, ingat semua orang boleh bagi effort ke.

Tapi ada jela benda yang saya tak suka. Macam mulut orang yang suka mencarut, merokok, senior yang tak senyum balik bila orang senyum kat dia (apahal broh?!) lepas tu some seniors ni saya tak berapa suka. entahla sebab apa haha. Saya tak kisah tau kalau orang nak mencarut, tapi not in front of me. Pantang family aku dengar orang mencarut ni. Panas je telinga. Kalau boleh nak je aku cili mulut dia sampai berdarah. haih. Merokok pun satu hal. Kau nak mampus, mampus sorang sorang. Janganlah merokok kat tempat semua orang ada. Rasa macam dorang tak respect kitorang as human being. Anyhow, things gonna change Insya Allah. I pray for this. For better future.

Semoga Ainul dapat menjadi seorang manusia

yang berguna di dunia dan dapat 

memberi khidmat dengan baik.

Sekian, terima kasih

Assalamualaikum,

Pernah tak korang meminta kat orang like, emm, sampai menyusahkan orang lain. Hahaha aku teringatlah masa kecik dulu aku ada mintak bekal kawan aku. Dia bawak nugget, ayam, setiap hari dia bawak. Sebab dia ada bibik. Dulu semua orang terliur tengok bekal dia. Satu hari tu, aku terpikir la nak mintak. Kawan aku semua dapat, then aku tak dapat. Lepas tu dia marah aku, suruh beli sendiri, or buat sendiri macam tu. Sampai sekarang aku teringat benda tu, dengan nama bapak dia pun aku ingat. Hahaha. Aku kesian gak dia, sebab dia tak dapat makan dengan tenang hahaha.

Sejak dari tu, aku takut nak mintak orang. Aku takut kena marah depan orang lain. Aku taknak orang lain kesian dengan aku, tengok aku macam nak nangis. Sejak tu meminta barang dari orang jadi fobia untuk aku.

Mungkin bagus gak aku kena marah macam tu. Dan sekarang, bila orang lain asyik meminta ni pulak, aku terpikir. Dorang ni memang tak malu ke?

Nak jadi cerita, aku dah nak mula sem 2. Tahniah la ainul berjaya sampai sini. Doakan aku untuk aktiviti komander aku, math sem 2 yang dorang cakap killer, roommates baru, junior baru hoho.

curvy skinny hui hui

Assalamualaikum,

hari ni saya nak share pandangan (as usual). Aku kadang-kadang gelak sensorang la thinking how people disgracefully judging people without thinking about their own selves. Like seriously dude, you should stop now.

Lemme give you some situations. Satu, dia gemuk, curvy what ever stuff. Dua, kurus keping. Orang pun compare la dorang dua ni. Deciding which one better and which one is not. And dude, this comparing tournament is now become internationally (no more locally babe, it's 21st century already meh). The  negative part unfortunately cannot be cover up by the good part of this century, all because of this type of thinking. this small minded group of society. This level of insecurities and never been grateful of what you have.

Okayla okayla. Kalau dah bersyukur? Lepas tu nak perlekehkan pihak lagi satu pulak. yang curvy cakap laki tak suka perempuan skinny. Yang skinny cakap curvy pakai baju apa-apa pun tak sesuai. Ha baguslah kan. Bagus sangat.

Kadang aku pun ada la terkata begitu, thumbs up me, you done it again, sigh. Cedih. Bukan apa, gegham orang cakap kita tak cantik, koajo. hahaha. My kind of beauty is beyond comparison dude, you should know that hahaha.

Whatever happens, we only have what we have. Lets make use of what we possessed. it's either it will be with you until the end of time, or Allah might just take it back along the way, little by little. How Allah have planned everything for you, for me, mind-blown. pheww. One more important thing, surround yourself with people who make you think, you have enough of everything.

itu sahaja kut. weh tulis benda alah ni pun penat duhhh.

Salah

Aku tak suka belajar dari kesalahan sendiri. Aku nak belajar dari kesalahan orang. Tapi malangnya, aku ni jenis adventurous. Suka sangat cuba, cari masalah. Hahaha. Kesalahan yang aku telah buat adalah bagi pandangan yang salah, mulut pandai sangat berkata-kata.

Aku pikir aku ni dikira macam orang yang ada ilmu pengetahuan jugaklah padahal gila cetek punya macam dah nak kering. So, guna ilmu aku yang still cetek ni aku bagi pandangan kat orang. Pandangan yang kadang-kadang berdasarkan hasutan bisikan syaitan. Ok la aku salahkan diri sendiri jugaklah sebab dengar.

Ada kawan aku ni baik, pious, suka ilmu agama, dan selalu merendah diri. Aku rasa sebab dia dapat course engineering ni (walaupun dia suka gila bio), Allah nak bagi dia jadi shield kitorang dari melebihi batas. Semua orang segan dengan dia. Dia jadi tulang belakang dalam diam. Bagi that little shine of hope, that somehow, we’ll survive this.

Dia pernah cakap kat aku. Dia takut, yang macam suka suka antara laki dan perempuan tapi tak berniat nak serius. Dia risau yang somebody might get hurt. (nampak tak dia punya caring nya!!) Instead of agreeing, I said vice versa. Aku cakap dia melebih, kolot well in good words of course. Dia baik dengan aku daaa. I wouldn’t want to hurt her…especially not her. And ended up, her stories matched perfectly. The difference is just, it get more complicated, detailed stories.

I feel so bad, I called her. She just giggled. Then, we talked.

I should have known I was wrong. She was right. My ego wins, and I lost.

Aku tak suka kalah. Mengalah pun sama. Kalau aku mengalah tu sebab aku sayang kau ataupun kau annoying gila bapak dengan bahas-bahas takde isi kau. Tapi kadang-kadang aku kena sedar jugak, pandangan aku bukan pandangan aku selamanya. Mungkin pandangan aku tu sebab iman aku lemah. Mungkin sebab aku tak suka dengan kau. Mungkin faktor faktor lain.

Ketahuila mulut aku banyak alasan je. Maaf.

masalah utama

Dan ketahuilah yang musuh ketat kita adalah diri sendiri, yang lain cuma menyibuk. Dan silapla kita kalau salahkan syaitan. Sebab dorang tu bisik je kat kita. Bukan dia arahkan kita secara paksaan fizikal. Yang tu pun kita kecundang, malang sekali. I get that from twitter, but I don’t know who hehe.

Masalah demi masalah timbul tapi semua berpunca dari diri sendiri. To feel safe we just need to blame someone out of it, right, instead of salahkan diri sendiri. Masalah surrounding la, masalah pemimpin dan system, masalah rumah tangga. Where should we find the strength to break that kind of thinking of human nature? Shouldn’t we have that urge to be rebellious and strong? Well, rules are meant to be broken. But no, we still in that same phase of thinking and hoping for that small possibility of bright future to come to us.

Mengenai banjir ni pulak dan baru baru ni flight hilang. Ya, memang kita kena risau. Tapi, risau kita pun kemana. Saya rasa macam lebih kepada tengok twitter, facebook, instagram, berita, tv, internet, risau, baring, tidur, and same thing happen tomorrow. We can’t actually deal with things that go beyond our power. Our capability to change something is very limited. Orang buat maksiat pun tak tegur. So, nak cakap kat sini, lebih baik kita pikir dari sekarang macam mana nak jadi lebih baik. Doa. Nak jadi sukarelawan, ha bagusla. Tapi tunggu masa tu. Masa yang kau boleh sumbangkan tenaga kau. Kalau duduk risau, cakap-cakap, salahkan itu ini, tak payah la. Study kau kemana, musibah still happen.

Kekuatan kita sekarang adalah doa. Semoga diberikan ketenangan jiwa, kesihatan tubuh badan, kelengkapan barang barang. Semoga kita bersabar dengan segala ujian yang diberikan. Allah takkan menguji hamba-Nya kalau dia tak mampu. Allah memang buat plan yang hebat dah. Kerja kita cuma, find out why it happens, what in benefit will you get.

Maaf jika ada yang tidak boleh menerima dan menganggap ini benda ni mengguris perasaan. Harap bersabar dan tabah. Ujian korang mungkin banjir, ujian aku mungkin benda lain. Semoga dipermudahkan segala urusan korang semua.

life lesson

I just realized that this sem is almost over. Homai. Shall we recheck what we did throughout this wonderful sem (: (acah)

Plagiarism. I’ve known this since asasi. Lecturers keep repeating the same thing until it reached to the bottom layer of my cerebrum. Just kidding. From what I know, plagiarism is how we didn’t acknowledge the researcher, by copying the research and so on so on. Google it. Don’t be such a lazy brat. Satu lagi, ada link untuk plagiarism checker. Benda ni untuk check sama ada isi Plagiat atau tak. Silap gila aku tak guna. Dem. Dr and lecturer sekarang pun dah bijak IT la come on. You earn what you did, unless miracle happen. Kita kena sedar Allah yang Maha memberi rezeki. Hehe.

One more tips from me, since gonna finish my first sem yeay, Don’t panic. Kalau tak semua KELAUT. Relax, take a deep breath, and work until you die. We live to work man unless you’re from some rich family, waiting for the company shares to be yours. But actually, no, rich person should be having more pressure as you are on your own if the company collapsed or whatsoever. It’s not that easy to become a wealthy person.

Talking about wealth, how youth this day spend money they didn’t even earn. Not blaming anyone, but yeah, somehow I can’t really see that bright future of us, when it comes our turn to become leader. But, never mind, a leader shouldn’t be that person, won’t even be nominated. I hope so.

Back to our topic today, group work is the most stressful activity I’ve ever done so far. There’s always someone who works the most and some who work the least. But, I keep my lecturers opinion that, it’s life, whether you want to take the risk or not. It shouldn’t be even a problem if you manage to solve it. Tak puas hati lagi? Okay, tuntut kat akhirat nanti. Ni sure tak boleh lepas. But, we shouldn’t be mean right. Let’s just pretend that in that cold heart of yours, there’s some warmth in it. Or maybe just pretend you’re helping your friend to help you. Isn’t that sound nicer?

The best part of everything, I’m so grateful for the lesson I’ve learnt. Also, I’m grateful for the ups and downs, and the mental support. Btw, I’m applying for komander. Yes, shit just got real man hahaha. Doakan saya please. I once read that, nothing comes coincidently. Maybe this mistake is the best for me. Idk man. Doakan jelah…Thanks

p/s: hai kawan degree. Dah pergi main jauh jauh.

Minggu padat

Assalamualaikum,

Saya sedang menghadapi minggu padat sedunia. Phew.  Even syafiqah, rumet sendiri pun susah nak jumpa. Dia balik saya tidur, saya balik dia tidur. Tabah ye Ainul. 4 tahun je insyaAllah. Maybe the suffer last for only 1 sem or less act. Tapi sedih pulak. Tak dapat jumpa syafiqah. Hmm. Isk isk. Semoga syafiqah dikelilingi orang orang yang baik. Amin

Hari minggu je aku sebak. Hari minggu je aku sebak. Aku nak buat kerja, masa tula pemadam nak hilang, masa tu la ngantuk, masa tu la masa tu la. Dan aku perasan ini semua bukan alasan. Apa da..

Lepas tu, kelas kitorang mungkin tak ngam lagi, so macam hmm. Lepas tu ada la tegang sikit. Yang saya rasa takdelah perkara besar actually. Saya cuma anggap yang kawan saya menghadapi pms, so macam emosi tak stabil. Causing the apologizing sad isk isk srot srot moment. Am I being mean? Sebab aku nak gelak act. Orang lain tak nampak benda ni isu tau. So kebarangkalian memang bukan isu pun act. Cuba jelah paham situasi ni.

Lepas tu, saya perasan, budak laki tak act like boys. If things get tense, they will jokingly say something funny and hilarious supaya takdelah tegang sangat sambil melegakan orang yang mengahadapi emosi tak stabil ni. Ni tak. Senyap. Lepas tu certain macam buat karangan minta maaf. Like ergh. Mungkin ini situasi yang aku akan hadapi. Mungkin ini situasi yang terbaik untuk aku. Positif.

Saya rasa sampai malas nak layan actually. Too much emotion. Tapi tu kawan saya. Jadi, as a good friend, I console her. I don’t blame her act, sebab saya paham perasaan emosi tak stabil ni. Tapi yang lain nak emo jugak kenapa. Ergh. Nyampah. Kat sini jelah saya boleh bagitau. My family malas nak dengar sebab memang remeh pun. Haha. So, here I am telling you guys what happen.

Sekarang macam tense je. Tapi dah okey kut.

Dalam sudut hati saya, saya rasa saya nak kerja sensorang je lepas ni. Too much motion, sampai aku rasa aku jadi negatif. Tapi…aku sayang dorang.

btw ptptn saya dah lulus. InsyaAllah cukup untuk bayar yuran je haha. And aku nak jadikan dia pinjaman boleh ubah yosh. And I still need to do my work isk isk so gebyee. 

yang tak datang kali kedua

Assalamualaikum,

Aku nak tulis pasal throwback sebenarnya. Aku teringat tu, aku teringat ni. Aku suka masa aku ketinggalan, kolot, tak kisah apa yang berlaku. Mungkin ada pro cons dia duhhh, tapi aku jadi diri aku masa tu. I didnt have that inspiration of how to dress up, what to love. My only inspiration is myself and my family. And the only thing I'm freaking out is when I didnt get pencil colours. And I actually start to save some money to buy it.

Sejak kecil aku suka jaga barang aku. Aku sayang semua barang aku. Baju aku tak kisah. Tudung aku pakai satu je. yelah pakai sekali sekala. dah insaf kay. Masa tu aku tak kisah. Sepupu aku masa tu pakai fancy, aku nampak macam budak kampung. Bukannya tak mampu, tapi aku memang tak tahu nak pilih. Dulu dorang pandang rendah kat aku. (Bila PMR aku dapat 9A, baru dorang start cakap dengan aku). Aku tak kisah masa tu. Aku suka semua benda yang umi bagi aku. Sebab umi memahami aku and of course la sebab sayang seorang ibu. No doubt.

Umi cakap aku dulu susah nak putus asa. Jatuh basikal banyak kali, tapi dalam satu hari dah boleh kayuh (tak tahula benda tu biasa je tapi bagi aku hebatla). Umi suruh aku jagakan abang dan adik aku masa kat sekolah hira'. Aku pun angkuh dulu sebab macam bijak sikitla. Umi selalu marah and as usual, ego wins. Aku sedar la sekarang, dan menyesal. Aku dulu takde kawan. Kawan aku semua banyak cakap so dorang tak suka aku, aku pun tak suka dorang. Bukan la tak suka tapi tak ngam la.

Bila dah besar aku sedar semua ni. Aku dah besar. Hidup aku dah berubah 360 degree. Aku dah belajar kat tempat baru, duduk kat rumah baru, kawan-kawan baru. Aku jadi makin benci dengan semua orang. Most. Bila dorang lebihkan rupa dari hati. Lebihkan bicara dari isi. Saling berlawan siapa lagi hebat. And the worst part of it, I'm becoming one of them. hmm not anymore.

I've been facing so many plastic people. Kadang-kadang tu rasa unfair. Tapi aku pikir balik. Aku bersyukur sangat, Allah tak jadikan aku rapat dengan propylene asal dari debu tanah.

Housemates, kawan aku sekarang, kawan sekolah aku, and nikmat yang paling aku sanjung tak kisahla beribu kali tersalah bicara, beribu kali berperang lidah, family aku akan ada dengan aku. I shall cherish every moment as this will not last forever. nangis.

19 tahun, baru aku sedar. At least aku sedar. Betapa bertuahnya jasad aku.

3/10/2014

Assalamualaikum,

Alhamdulillah. Segala puji bagi Allah atas semua perkara perkara baik yang saya terima. Alhamdulillah, kini saya lagi kuat. hehe

Seminggu sudah saya menyertai pasukan budak budak degree ambilan September 2014, part 1, Chemical engineering. Nak gempak je nama panjang berjela. haha. Em em, apa kata saya cerita serba serbi chemical engineering ni.

Chemical engineering ni ada 4 cabang. Pure, oil and gas, bioprocess, and process. Setakat ni, saya cuma bagi briefing jela, sebab baru part 1 en, nak gebang kencang gila haha. Tapi, even kau masuk lain cabang tapi under same course, kau masih boleh masuk cabang lain gak. Contoh kau ambil pure chemical engineering tapi kau boleh lagi masuk oil and gas. Almaklumlah, orang cakap gaji loaded. Lecturer cakap, apa kau belajar guna 30% je, dia nak kau ada basic calculation dengan idea nak buat projek je. Cabang ni setakat kau dapat belajar lebih deep jelah. Itu je.

Tapi ingatlah, rezeki di tangan Allah. InsyaAllah kalau niat baik, Allah tolong.

Experience pulak. Setakat ni, aku bersyukur sangat sebab kawan aku semua jaga hati sikit. Baik baik. InsyaAllah. Bagi aku ini adalah nikmat yang paling bermakna. Sebab aku pernah rasa erti takde kawan, erti kawan makan kawan, erti kawan pentingkan diri. Lepas tu aku jadi skeptikal dengan kawan. Tapi kawan aku sekarang ni membuka peluang untuk aku buka hati berkawan.

Kemudian, aku tak tahu la nak rasa apa. Tapi sebab fakulti aku sekali dengan budak engineering lain, jadi macam lelaki tu ramai la. Daripada pengalaman hidup aku selama beberapa bulan lepas dan sebelumnya, lelaki tu memang nampaklah ketidakadaan dia. Sampai kalau ada sorang hensem tu, semua serbu dia. Yeah, been there done that. Mungkin aku happy untuk fakta ini. Come on, ni namanya aku normal. hahahahaha. kbai.

Untuk sem 1 ni pulak, aku memang dapat kolej dan lokasi kolej aku sangatlah aku suka. Nangis terharu. Setiap kali aku ada gap, aku balik. Having my own sweet time kat dalam bilik, tak rimas pakai tudung berkepam kepala aku. Tapi, mungkin untuk sem ni je. So gonna enjoy this until the end. hehe. Jadual aku pun tak padat, macam kawan aku. Ni semua buat aku jadi bersyukur tau.

quiz, test, assignment, dan exam, aktiviti kerohanian, makanan roh aku. to be continued..

Terima kasih.