3 minggu kemudian

Assalamualaikum,

Jadi sekarang saya secara sahnya dah berada di rumah 3 minggu dah duduk kat rumah. Yeay me! You've been a very good girl. NOT!! Cuba tengok sikit apa kejayaan yang telah anda lakukan.

Oh yeah, saya dah berjaya buat berapa utas gelang (utas ke?), dan kemungkinan dapat beberapa hengget. Saya masih belajar buat gelang ni. Tengah cuba nak buat design lain. mehehe. Saya tak bagitahu orang saya buat. Biar nanti saya pro betul-betul and tak rasa merendah diri dengan kekurangan kat gelang saya. Cun? Biar ni rahsia kita je na~

Masalah 3 minggu ni pulak, pelan saya untuk cuti ni tak jadi pulak. Takde semangat. Iaitu lesen. Keluarga saya ni (my dad lah) jenis tak bagi kitorang naik kereta tanpa pengawasan dia dan dia cuma ada sabtu ahad je yang act macam takde sebab dia kena hantar najla tuisyen, pergi rumah nenek etc. Kesimpulannya, saya cuma boleh naik kereta bila mana? bila saya dah ada kereta sendiri sama dengan 5 tahun lagi. Takpelah. When the time comes. I'll ride it until the world end. Sekarang benda tu tak bermakna sangat sebab saya cuma nak keluar dengan keluarga saya je :'( That feeling when you have full house. Rasa rumah besar pun tak cukup. Ni kosong sangat. Sedih weh. Apa la yang umi abuya rasa en...jadi nanti dah kahwin nanti saya nak ramai anak. InsyaAllah.

Selain tu, saya pikir nak macam beribadah camtu lah. I mean, I have all the time. Haram. Takde pape. Kosong. Sebelum ni konon sibuk belajar, jet jet dapat lah 4 flat cenggitu. Sembang. 4 flat tak dapat, pahala ibadah pun kosong. Okey okey. Masih ada masa. Saya akan lakukan yang terbaik. Lagipun rejab dah datang dah ni. Mari lakukan yang terbaik okey semua.

Selain tu, saya tidur makan tidur macam biasa la. Bangun pukul 12-1 tengah hari. Subuh bukan subuh dinosaur kay. Subuh jemaah lagi. Tu pun sebab umi kejut, kalau tak mimpi lah. Makan tu entah, sebab makanan kat rumah selalu habis. Yelah, ada pemakan di rumah ehehe. Cuba teka siapa. Nampak tak bosan.

Lagi satu saya nak masak pastri semua. Semua suruh buat tu buat ni tapi bukannya beli barangnya pun. Jadi saya dah beli barangnya sendiri. Minta duit kat abuya. Tengoklah nanti saya nak buat apa. Saya tak share gambar mungkin sebab macam entah, privasi. Biarlah orang nampak macam saya ni tak buat kerja, mengganggur sepanjang masa. Kalau saya share kan saya rasa macam orang stalk saya hmmm. Tapi saya suka tengok orang lain punya la. Macam inspiring geghehehe. Semoga makanan tu keluar seperti yang diharapkan haha.

Jadi itu je.
wasalam
xoxo

my precious memory

Assalamualaikum,

I've got something to confess. It's a long story. But this is seriously a real one. Seriously.

After so many years (15 actually) I've found out that I have issue in making friends. Yeah, that took a while. But hey, I like to be alone. With my own books, hearing my own musics, sitting there where nobody will hurt me or vice versa. When it comes to my ex-classmates (A8), it turns out, I hurt their feelings. I mean, I've been very cold to them. Nahh, I'm the one who's hurt. hmmmm

First I met a group of people who live at the same block with me. There was hidayah, izzah, aina, amirah (except for her), and fatihah. We talked to each other but well let just say it's an awkward conversation when this group started to split up to the talkative side and the not-so-speaking-session side. I didnt mind that, well a little bit, because I'm the quiet one. Who doesn't? And then we need to make groups in the first class. Fatihah was on the other side of the class because there's not enough chairs for her. I somehow felt responsible to have her in my group, instead of my other same-block member. And then, somehow, she has her own group while my other member already group up. Well, what do you expect I felt like? Betrayed, angry, frustrated and yeah that sums up everything. But then, it turns out I'd be in a group with fatihah. My 'wish' comes true. Yeay me. I went back and somehow felt like not wanted. I've told my mother, but the least she can do is bracing me up, telling everybody have gone through this bla bla bla, felt pity. Honestly I cried. It didn't went well after all. hmmm. It's the first week of my studies, and it almost shows my path toward the end. Great.

However, Fatihah seems to be nice to me. I thought that maybe she didn't realise I would felt that way. So let bygone be bygone. One fine day, I brought a camera. I took some picture of my classmates. They were so awkward back then. And then, she wants to take a look. Well, in my opinion, it's my stuff, my little precious, my all selfie-taking gadget. So I politely say no to her. Suddenly, she snatched it. Okay. She scrolled it down, so I just say don't look at that pictures while covering the camera and guess what, she didn't listen. Atta girl. She pulled the camera away and whoosh, there you go, my all big time of selfie. Lots of them. I've never thought I took so much. And she laughs. I felt like being betrayed one more time. That feeling, that heat of anger. I'm so pissed off because she totally crossed the line. I really hate that to infinity. That was a really big mistake that I would never forgive from anybody (until now actually) From that onward, I've never been any closer to them, her specifically. Teruk kan? hmmm

to be continued...

random

Assalamualaikum,

Haha, motif post ni. Nothing. Just wanted to show everyone this cute dory's gif. muhehehe. Nah everyone.

Ni pun maksudnya jangan berputus asa, even if you don't know tomorrow will still be there for you.

Wasalam

Loading...

Assalamualaikum,

Korang semua pernah tak terpikir satu senarai. Macam wishlis or what-to-do list. I have those and tend to share them. haha. Maybe someday you can take it as your wishlist too. And feel the joy of success in something, even how crazy it is.

1. Show nothing.
Sejak berkumpul dengan orang ni, saya sedar betapa manisnya nikmat kaya tu. Dapat beli tu, ni. Materialistik. Tapi, bila fikir balik, semua benda ni tah pape. Bayangkan kita nak impress orang dengan barang kita. Gosh. So this is my wishlist. Saya nak tunjuk saya ni takde apa-apa. The one who thinks I'm just fabulous that way, mungkin kawan yang saya cuba cari. Cukuplah apa yang saya ada.

2. Jangan boros.
Sebab saya ni pun bukan kalangan orang-orang kaya. Yang kayanya, my parents. Tapi kalau kaya pun, of course korang takkan beli barang yang murah. So eventually people have the same level of property. Faham tak? Try jelah fikir. Maksud boros saya ni pun, makanan. I can't resist them you know. Thank Allah, for giving me such body. Taklah cepat sangat naik berat badan haha. Mungkin baju jugak, perempuan en. Pray for me.

3. Starting business
Alang-alang saya ni suka baju, saya cuba buat bisnes ni. Mungkin sikit je saya dapat. Tapi, kalau kumpul banyak-banyak, okaylah jugak. Better dari takde. Tapi, ni semua kena ada modal. So saya kena kerja jugak. Duit tak jatuh dari langit ye anak-anak. Saya pun nak kena tampung diri sendiri untuk studies nanti. Or even for future. Kesian my parents, struggle so hard. Kena tampung anak-anak dorang yang banyak karenah ni. So, at least, I lessen their burden eh~

4. Create something.
Ni susah sikitlah. The spirit is there, but nothing can be done. I'm thinking of making some piece of clothes. Tapi, takde sewing machine. Mungkin saya akan buat guna tangan. Lets just see how it turned out to be. Haha. Please dont expect to much, it would really turn you down. At least I'm happy, I've achieved it, no?

5. upcoming...

Want to try, dear me? Be my guest, and share if you all does your's. I really want to know. Experience excites me, and bear in mind, I'm a very good listener. itu je.

wasalam

Cycle day

Assalamualaikum,

now now dear readers. Jangan menggelabah, cause I am now haha. Saddap me. Tadi saya dan kawan-kawan keluar beriadah. Kitaorang pergi ke Bukit Cerakah, my once favourite place to have fun. Dulu kitaorang pergi sana untuk mandi swimming pool. But today, we have barbeque. Yaey! That's what the whole plan of it. Everything seems new. Keseluruhan. More convenient, easy to say. There were 9 of us, Allysha, nabilah, shahmy, mimi, (faris, firdaus, amir *I didn't even know them*); they were ttdi classmates before. And then we join in, as me and azraa. Then, Maz and her sister maz-q (they called her). Sweet girl I say.

Mula-mula kitaorang gerak naik basikal. Pergi kayuh ke ladang buah. Tangkap gambar kat tempat yang cantik macam tu, trying new monopod, allysha's and Faris's. Banyak gila, tapi kat phone dorang. Sedih. Lepas tu macam buat drama pulak (allysha) sebab dia macam sorang-sorang tertinggal. And my bike was so fast (I like it though), I left everyone at the back. I had so much fun cycling. haha. Thanks to them for giving me such opportunity. Big love. And then, kitorang gerak naik bas pulak, ke tempat 4 musim tu. Kat situ ada tempat barbeque. So, as we planned, we set up everything there. Tiresome as the charcoal didn't cooperate, but it's an experience what. I have never set up the barbeque thingy. Each and every barbeque, somehow they just using the stoves, or some guy just handle it. And the food came out well enough. for now. My stomach still didn't have any problem with it. Eventually, we clean and tidy up everything and voila, to home we go.

Lepas tu, maz terpikir nak makan tutti fruitti, jadi allysha drive ke masalam. And then she sent me home. But, my family isn't there, so I jump into my own house (so awkward). Kak cah went back 10 min after, and here I am, in my house. Took a bath cause I have this unacceptable odour (daaa) after 9 hours in bukit cerakah.

Ada satu scene tu. Saya tengah jaga api dengan allysha. Allysha buat something and pandang saya. Lepas tu saya pandang tempat lain. Allysha marah. "ainul, kita tengah nak buat awak ketawa ni". Haha, tak perasan dia buat egg face. Lepas tu saya gelak lah hahaha. I'm surely gonna miss her. hmm

Walaupun macam awkward tapi, dorang pandai nak biasakan diri. Have a normal conversation. Almost envy at them. Buat saya rasa selesa jugak. Rasa macam bukan outsider lah. Thank you so much everyone.

at galeri pendidikan

Standing (from left): Amir, Firdaus, Faris.
Sitting (from left): Shahmy, mimi, azraa, me, maz, nabilah, allysha. (maz-q took this picture)

Wasalam.

Her

Assalamualaikum,

Cerita hari ni. Saya pergi rumah aisyah. Let me tell ya bout her. Dia ni kawan dengan saya sejak sekolah rendah. Darjah 6 baru saya start rapat dengan dia. Kitorang pindah kelas pertama sama-sama. Tapi, dia turun balik. Sedih gila masa tu. Lepas tu, dia masuk sekolah menengah sama dengan saya. SMK sek 7. Tak expect pun. Kelas sama. Apa lagi? satu geng lah. Dua tahun sama kelas. What do you expect? Tapi lepas tu dia kena tukar sekolah. Negeri sembilan. Masa tu memang serius susah nak jumpa. Walaupun dia duduk seksyen 8 dan saya duduk kat seksyen u12. Boleh dikira kitorang ni jiran gak. Tapi, tanpa izin Allah, memang tak jumpa. Masa tu lah saya tak free, masa tu lah dia tak free, masa tu lah takde transport, masa tu lah hujan, sakit dan sebagainya.

hai!

Tapi, saya jumpa dia tadi. Yeay! (menari) Mula-mula cakap nak cycling kat luar camtu, jalan-jalan. Tapi, abang aisyah tak bagi. Jadi kitorang duduk rumah je. But hey, best okay. Nak pergi rumah dia pun macam nak tercabut lutut. Saya muntah tengah jalan sebab badan terkejut. Tak warm up. Salah diri jugak sebab tak estimate jauh dia. Bila cycle baru perasaan betapa jauhnya rumah dia tu. (flip table) sampai tu, kitorang cerita sampai pukul berapa entah. Then tengok tv. Cerita lagi. Solat. Makan. Balik.

We have a quality time there. Face to face conversation. No activities. Just that. Best. My way to have fun.

Balik pulak satu hal. Saya kena tamparan hebat masa datang jadi saya call umi. "umi, can you fetch me at aisyah's?" "okay". Then apparently, there's someone else in the car. So the car didn't fit for the bicycle. Last-last, saya bagitahu umi "takpelah umi, saya balik sendiri" "la, okay" I dont know what umi's thinking, because somehow she should know such thing would happen. Mungkin sebab umi lupa kut. Dengan sedihnya saya pun naik basikal balik. Tapi masa tu cuaca mendung. Tak terik sebab masa tu pukul 3. Thank God. Saya pun cycle balik. Cycle balik tak rasa penat sangatlah. Tapi, predictable, sampai rumah, tumbang. Haha. 2 jam tak sedar. LOL

Apa-apa pun, saya rasa penat lelah saya tu worth it. Moga pertemuan kami hari ni dipenuhi keberkatan. InsyaAllah. And dia plan nak ke mesir. So I wish all the best for her. Amin.

That's it.
wasalam.
xoxo.

them

Assalamualaikum,

sempena pengakhiran saya dalam asasi 2013/2014, saya nak buat post ni. Saya dedikasikan ini semua kepada orang-orang yang teristimewa. Yang buat hari duka jadi sebaliknya. Hilangkan stress dan selesaikan masalah. Although not even solving it, well at least they were there when I need them. Walaupun cuma sebentar. Memang tak sempat buat banyak benda pun, tapi the memories are worthless. xoxo

Now this is what I'm talking about. R2307. This is my housemates. From the right, Azraa, Athirah, Maz, Nabilah, Wani, Yana, me :D , Allysha.

Azraa:

A sweet girl who I respect the most. The way she handle things professionally, the way she thinks about others, the way she interact with people. Maybe because of that people mistakenly thought she's one of akak degree. I would if I didn't know her. Mature I'll say. She always listen to my stories. She also have this kind of self confidence that I envy much. Ada satu hari tu, kitorang makan cendol. Termanis sangat masa tu and ais dia semua cair. Dia minta ais tu. Neglecting what the cendol man would say. Hahaha. Made my day. 

Athirah:

Dia ni pulak budak bijak. Dia hafal nota bio tu. What do you expect? Rajin, of course. Tabiat dia adalah bukak laptop dia, ngadap. Bukan macam orang-orang biasa ni, lagha. Dia explore. News, isu semasa, ceramah, info and etc. And then, dia akan share dekat kitorang. Best gila bila ada dia sebab saya bukan jenis yang membaca, so bila ada dia, I dont have too. LOL. We gather around and share each others stories. How I missed everything :'( And lagi satu dia ni suka betul dengan nasi. Portion nasi dia 2 kali ganda kitorang punya. or maybe 3 times. Amazed. 

Maz:

nahh. this girl is my long-lost twin. Ironinya, kitorang ada citarasa yang sama. Mostly on food. Makanan, silalah tanya dia. Semua dia dah makan. Even how she eat the food, tak suka dengan sup cenggitu. Sama dengan saya. Suka tiru saya xD And and not to forget, dia pun ada 5 orang adik beradik, 4 perempuan, sorang laki-anak ketiga, dia anak keempat. See. Ni sama betul dah ni. Dia comel, ala-ala tomboy tapi kalau kenal dia baru nampak dia perempuan. haha. Satu benda dia tak suka, cakap pasal exam yang dah lepas, markah. Saya selalu bayangkan dia marah sebab dia ada muka takde emosi. Marah tak happy mungkin. Entah. LOL. 

Nabilah:

Kawan saya yang peramah. She can act like she knows everyone a long time ago. Makes everyone comfortable. Masalah dia, lack of self-confidence. Dia selalu cakap kurang tu lah inilah, but I think she is fine with what she already have. Mungkin sebab ramai orang cakap pasal tinggi dia, and dia dikelilingi oleh ramai budak tinggi. Mungkin sebab tu. Dia suka dengar tips, petua semua. Dia suka bukak smartphone dia and gelak, cakap sorang-sorang. Sampai semua pikir dia tengah cakap dengan kitorang, but then dia cakap takdelah. Dah biasa dah. sedih en dengar? huhu

Wani:

Now, she's that girl who I called perempuan idaman ramai. Muka flawless gitu, putih. Suara dia pun lembut, sedap. Even right after exam, ada orang confessed. LOL. Pandai pun boleh tahan. Sem 1 dulu dia ajar kitorang. Tapi sem 2 Idk, somehow or rather, she's out of track, how would I say it, macam tak ajar kitorang dahlah. Dia punya pandai en, banyak gila tawaran dia dapat. Dia tolak. Mungkin sebab jodoh dia memang kat Palam hehe. And recently, dia dapat tawaran dwi-ijazah. (dua degree in a go) Gila en? itulah dia, gila. haha kidding kidding. Dia genius. Belajar nya sikit, kacau orang banyak lah. haih jelez.

Yana:

Ini pulak budak comel. Serius comel gila dia ni. Cara dia macam budak kecik. Cuma tinggi jelah. Eh, rendah lah dari saya. Dia ni suka share stories dengan saya, saya pun share jugak saya punya lah. Menyebabkan dia kenal ramai orang, yang saya ceritakanlah. And that's how I know, people are unpredictable. Saya amazed dengan dia. She's a determinant girl. When she said that, don't argue. A shy girl. And indirectly, she resembles my younger sister. Somehow, I don't know where, but she is. Dia ni pun tak suka share markah dia. Humpph. Baru-baru ni ada banyak musibah menimpa. Saya cuma doakan dia je. InsyaAllah dia memang seorang yang kuat. 

Allysha:

Ha, ni dia kena highlight sikit. Dia nilah room mate saya. Tapi, dia setiap minggu balik. Hmm. Biarkan saya cakap dengan dinding. Dia ni has a very good sense of humour, more like sarcasm. But it comes out well. I'll remember her egg face. Only she can do it, because she invented it. daaa~ And I can laugh just by looking at her. Dia ni popular, insta, twitter. Quite a stalker. Randomly. An organise person. I would show you her closet, but that's private. She brings everything, it almost the whole house. But. hear this out. This is only for the sake of the whole house. Baik en dia? Dia kan selalu balik, so almost setiap kali balik palam, dia bawak balik barang. I'll remember her beloved sausage too. Sometimes she shared her problem. Maybe I didn't solve it, she just need time. We argued. We aren't in the same team, and we were against each other like every time. Sometimes I'm angry but nahhh, that's how she is. Apa susah, kenakan dia balik. wahaha. Semua macam belah saya, most of the time, bukan sebab apa, reaksi dia buat semua suka. Kitorang jarang ada sakit hati, even ada pun, rasa macam hilang camtu je. Pelik en. Pada pendapat sayalah. Tapi, ada pernah dia merajuk dengan saya. Satu kali jelah. Salah saya, memang salah saya. A massive sincere sorry from me.

Banyak lagi lah kalau nak di senaraikan. Kalau nak ceritakan betapa kompleksnya manusia ni, memang infiniti lah jawabnya. All the flaws maybe shown once you're comfortable with people. I can accept theirs flaws, hope they accept mine. Saya minta maaf dari lubuk jantung saya atas segala kesalahan saya. You always see my flaws. Orang cakap kalau nak kenal orang, duduk, musafir dengan dia. And now, you know me. Hmm. Thanks a lot for everything. The pizzas, kfcs, coolblog, cameras, smartphones, ipad, games, everything. big love for you alls.

xoxo

wasalam