masalah utama

Dan ketahuilah yang musuh ketat kita adalah diri sendiri, yang lain cuma menyibuk. Dan silapla kita kalau salahkan syaitan. Sebab dorang tu bisik je kat kita. Bukan dia arahkan kita secara paksaan fizikal. Yang tu pun kita kecundang, malang sekali. I get that from twitter, but I don’t know who hehe.

Masalah demi masalah timbul tapi semua berpunca dari diri sendiri. To feel safe we just need to blame someone out of it, right, instead of salahkan diri sendiri. Masalah surrounding la, masalah pemimpin dan system, masalah rumah tangga. Where should we find the strength to break that kind of thinking of human nature? Shouldn’t we have that urge to be rebellious and strong? Well, rules are meant to be broken. But no, we still in that same phase of thinking and hoping for that small possibility of bright future to come to us.

Mengenai banjir ni pulak dan baru baru ni flight hilang. Ya, memang kita kena risau. Tapi, risau kita pun kemana. Saya rasa macam lebih kepada tengok twitter, facebook, instagram, berita, tv, internet, risau, baring, tidur, and same thing happen tomorrow. We can’t actually deal with things that go beyond our power. Our capability to change something is very limited. Orang buat maksiat pun tak tegur. So, nak cakap kat sini, lebih baik kita pikir dari sekarang macam mana nak jadi lebih baik. Doa. Nak jadi sukarelawan, ha bagusla. Tapi tunggu masa tu. Masa yang kau boleh sumbangkan tenaga kau. Kalau duduk risau, cakap-cakap, salahkan itu ini, tak payah la. Study kau kemana, musibah still happen.

Kekuatan kita sekarang adalah doa. Semoga diberikan ketenangan jiwa, kesihatan tubuh badan, kelengkapan barang barang. Semoga kita bersabar dengan segala ujian yang diberikan. Allah takkan menguji hamba-Nya kalau dia tak mampu. Allah memang buat plan yang hebat dah. Kerja kita cuma, find out why it happens, what in benefit will you get.

Maaf jika ada yang tidak boleh menerima dan menganggap ini benda ni mengguris perasaan. Harap bersabar dan tabah. Ujian korang mungkin banjir, ujian aku mungkin benda lain. Semoga dipermudahkan segala urusan korang semua.

life lesson

I just realized that this sem is almost over. Homai. Shall we recheck what we did throughout this wonderful sem (: (acah)

Plagiarism. I’ve known this since asasi. Lecturers keep repeating the same thing until it reached to the bottom layer of my cerebrum. Just kidding. From what I know, plagiarism is how we didn’t acknowledge the researcher, by copying the research and so on so on. Google it. Don’t be such a lazy brat. Satu lagi, ada link untuk plagiarism checker. Benda ni untuk check sama ada isi Plagiat atau tak. Silap gila aku tak guna. Dem. Dr and lecturer sekarang pun dah bijak IT la come on. You earn what you did, unless miracle happen. Kita kena sedar Allah yang Maha memberi rezeki. Hehe.

One more tips from me, since gonna finish my first sem yeay, Don’t panic. Kalau tak semua KELAUT. Relax, take a deep breath, and work until you die. We live to work man unless you’re from some rich family, waiting for the company shares to be yours. But actually, no, rich person should be having more pressure as you are on your own if the company collapsed or whatsoever. It’s not that easy to become a wealthy person.

Talking about wealth, how youth this day spend money they didn’t even earn. Not blaming anyone, but yeah, somehow I can’t really see that bright future of us, when it comes our turn to become leader. But, never mind, a leader shouldn’t be that person, won’t even be nominated. I hope so.

Back to our topic today, group work is the most stressful activity I’ve ever done so far. There’s always someone who works the most and some who work the least. But, I keep my lecturers opinion that, it’s life, whether you want to take the risk or not. It shouldn’t be even a problem if you manage to solve it. Tak puas hati lagi? Okay, tuntut kat akhirat nanti. Ni sure tak boleh lepas. But, we shouldn’t be mean right. Let’s just pretend that in that cold heart of yours, there’s some warmth in it. Or maybe just pretend you’re helping your friend to help you. Isn’t that sound nicer?

The best part of everything, I’m so grateful for the lesson I’ve learnt. Also, I’m grateful for the ups and downs, and the mental support. Btw, I’m applying for komander. Yes, shit just got real man hahaha. Doakan saya please. I once read that, nothing comes coincidently. Maybe this mistake is the best for me. Idk man. Doakan jelah…Thanks

p/s: hai kawan degree. Dah pergi main jauh jauh.

Minggu padat

Assalamualaikum,

Saya sedang menghadapi minggu padat sedunia. Phew.  Even syafiqah, rumet sendiri pun susah nak jumpa. Dia balik saya tidur, saya balik dia tidur. Tabah ye Ainul. 4 tahun je insyaAllah. Maybe the suffer last for only 1 sem or less act. Tapi sedih pulak. Tak dapat jumpa syafiqah. Hmm. Isk isk. Semoga syafiqah dikelilingi orang orang yang baik. Amin

Hari minggu je aku sebak. Hari minggu je aku sebak. Aku nak buat kerja, masa tula pemadam nak hilang, masa tu la ngantuk, masa tu la masa tu la. Dan aku perasan ini semua bukan alasan. Apa da..

Lepas tu, kelas kitorang mungkin tak ngam lagi, so macam hmm. Lepas tu ada la tegang sikit. Yang saya rasa takdelah perkara besar actually. Saya cuma anggap yang kawan saya menghadapi pms, so macam emosi tak stabil. Causing the apologizing sad isk isk srot srot moment. Am I being mean? Sebab aku nak gelak act. Orang lain tak nampak benda ni isu tau. So kebarangkalian memang bukan isu pun act. Cuba jelah paham situasi ni.

Lepas tu, saya perasan, budak laki tak act like boys. If things get tense, they will jokingly say something funny and hilarious supaya takdelah tegang sangat sambil melegakan orang yang mengahadapi emosi tak stabil ni. Ni tak. Senyap. Lepas tu certain macam buat karangan minta maaf. Like ergh. Mungkin ini situasi yang aku akan hadapi. Mungkin ini situasi yang terbaik untuk aku. Positif.

Saya rasa sampai malas nak layan actually. Too much emotion. Tapi tu kawan saya. Jadi, as a good friend, I console her. I don’t blame her act, sebab saya paham perasaan emosi tak stabil ni. Tapi yang lain nak emo jugak kenapa. Ergh. Nyampah. Kat sini jelah saya boleh bagitau. My family malas nak dengar sebab memang remeh pun. Haha. So, here I am telling you guys what happen.

Sekarang macam tense je. Tapi dah okey kut.

Dalam sudut hati saya, saya rasa saya nak kerja sensorang je lepas ni. Too much motion, sampai aku rasa aku jadi negatif. Tapi…aku sayang dorang.

btw ptptn saya dah lulus. InsyaAllah cukup untuk bayar yuran je haha. And aku nak jadikan dia pinjaman boleh ubah yosh. And I still need to do my work isk isk so gebyee. 

yang tak datang kali kedua

Assalamualaikum,

Aku nak tulis pasal throwback sebenarnya. Aku teringat tu, aku teringat ni. Aku suka masa aku ketinggalan, kolot, tak kisah apa yang berlaku. Mungkin ada pro cons dia duhhh, tapi aku jadi diri aku masa tu. I didnt have that inspiration of how to dress up, what to love. My only inspiration is myself and my family. And the only thing I'm freaking out is when I didnt get pencil colours. And I actually start to save some money to buy it.

Sejak kecil aku suka jaga barang aku. Aku sayang semua barang aku. Baju aku tak kisah. Tudung aku pakai satu je. yelah pakai sekali sekala. dah insaf kay. Masa tu aku tak kisah. Sepupu aku masa tu pakai fancy, aku nampak macam budak kampung. Bukannya tak mampu, tapi aku memang tak tahu nak pilih. Dulu dorang pandang rendah kat aku. (Bila PMR aku dapat 9A, baru dorang start cakap dengan aku). Aku tak kisah masa tu. Aku suka semua benda yang umi bagi aku. Sebab umi memahami aku and of course la sebab sayang seorang ibu. No doubt.

Umi cakap aku dulu susah nak putus asa. Jatuh basikal banyak kali, tapi dalam satu hari dah boleh kayuh (tak tahula benda tu biasa je tapi bagi aku hebatla). Umi suruh aku jagakan abang dan adik aku masa kat sekolah hira'. Aku pun angkuh dulu sebab macam bijak sikitla. Umi selalu marah and as usual, ego wins. Aku sedar la sekarang, dan menyesal. Aku dulu takde kawan. Kawan aku semua banyak cakap so dorang tak suka aku, aku pun tak suka dorang. Bukan la tak suka tapi tak ngam la.

Bila dah besar aku sedar semua ni. Aku dah besar. Hidup aku dah berubah 360 degree. Aku dah belajar kat tempat baru, duduk kat rumah baru, kawan-kawan baru. Aku jadi makin benci dengan semua orang. Most. Bila dorang lebihkan rupa dari hati. Lebihkan bicara dari isi. Saling berlawan siapa lagi hebat. And the worst part of it, I'm becoming one of them. hmm not anymore.

I've been facing so many plastic people. Kadang-kadang tu rasa unfair. Tapi aku pikir balik. Aku bersyukur sangat, Allah tak jadikan aku rapat dengan propylene asal dari debu tanah.

Housemates, kawan aku sekarang, kawan sekolah aku, and nikmat yang paling aku sanjung tak kisahla beribu kali tersalah bicara, beribu kali berperang lidah, family aku akan ada dengan aku. I shall cherish every moment as this will not last forever. nangis.

19 tahun, baru aku sedar. At least aku sedar. Betapa bertuahnya jasad aku.

3/10/2014

Assalamualaikum,

Alhamdulillah. Segala puji bagi Allah atas semua perkara perkara baik yang saya terima. Alhamdulillah, kini saya lagi kuat. hehe

Seminggu sudah saya menyertai pasukan budak budak degree ambilan September 2014, part 1, Chemical engineering. Nak gempak je nama panjang berjela. haha. Em em, apa kata saya cerita serba serbi chemical engineering ni.

Chemical engineering ni ada 4 cabang. Pure, oil and gas, bioprocess, and process. Setakat ni, saya cuma bagi briefing jela, sebab baru part 1 en, nak gebang kencang gila haha. Tapi, even kau masuk lain cabang tapi under same course, kau masih boleh masuk cabang lain gak. Contoh kau ambil pure chemical engineering tapi kau boleh lagi masuk oil and gas. Almaklumlah, orang cakap gaji loaded. Lecturer cakap, apa kau belajar guna 30% je, dia nak kau ada basic calculation dengan idea nak buat projek je. Cabang ni setakat kau dapat belajar lebih deep jelah. Itu je.

Tapi ingatlah, rezeki di tangan Allah. InsyaAllah kalau niat baik, Allah tolong.

Experience pulak. Setakat ni, aku bersyukur sangat sebab kawan aku semua jaga hati sikit. Baik baik. InsyaAllah. Bagi aku ini adalah nikmat yang paling bermakna. Sebab aku pernah rasa erti takde kawan, erti kawan makan kawan, erti kawan pentingkan diri. Lepas tu aku jadi skeptikal dengan kawan. Tapi kawan aku sekarang ni membuka peluang untuk aku buka hati berkawan.

Kemudian, aku tak tahu la nak rasa apa. Tapi sebab fakulti aku sekali dengan budak engineering lain, jadi macam lelaki tu ramai la. Daripada pengalaman hidup aku selama beberapa bulan lepas dan sebelumnya, lelaki tu memang nampaklah ketidakadaan dia. Sampai kalau ada sorang hensem tu, semua serbu dia. Yeah, been there done that. Mungkin aku happy untuk fakta ini. Come on, ni namanya aku normal. hahahahaha. kbai.

Untuk sem 1 ni pulak, aku memang dapat kolej dan lokasi kolej aku sangatlah aku suka. Nangis terharu. Setiap kali aku ada gap, aku balik. Having my own sweet time kat dalam bilik, tak rimas pakai tudung berkepam kepala aku. Tapi, mungkin untuk sem ni je. So gonna enjoy this until the end. hehe. Jadual aku pun tak padat, macam kawan aku. Ni semua buat aku jadi bersyukur tau.

quiz, test, assignment, dan exam, aktiviti kerohanian, makanan roh aku. to be continued..

Terima kasih.

new chapter loading...

Assalamualaikum,

helo helo hehe. Hari ni hari yang indah sebab sejuk hujan semalam masih terasa so dia macam ala-ala obersis. Yelah tak kesampaian lagi hajat ke obersis kat shah alam ni pun hokey. Apa-apa pun, I got news for me to share with uolls.

Satu. Saya akan mula sesi ijazah sarjana muda dalam kejuruteraan kimia. Dimana? Sebelah rumah je ni ha. Uitm Shah Alam. Haha. Memang pilih sini sebab I dont need to think about renting a house which leads a long list of problems. Tapi yelah, seronok seronok pun, otak kempis la jadinya. Duduk shah ale, asasi uitm puncak ale, degree uitm shah ale. Takde pengalaman baru kata ko. Mungkin ini yang terbaik. Of course. Tapi en mind setting kita je, nak terima ke tak. Kalau terima insyaAllah takde stress stress ni. Senang cakap. Saya sendiri takut ni. Tapi, saya tak nak negative thoughts datang menghantui saya. hm yes yes. Ramai jugak kawan saya dapat sini. Tapi macam biasalah, macam syiq syiq duduk blok sebelah pun jarang boleh hang out hm. Eh no negative thought no no.

Dua. Sijil Muet saya tak dapat huwaaa. Baru saya sedar (sebab upu) Mungkin ada tapi tak sampai. Mungkin sampai tapi kena buang. Sebab masa tu saya dekat palam and I used my grandma's home address. I dont know man. Dulu kitorang pindah-pindah jadi alamat nenek je tetap, dan kitorang akan balik sana seminggu sekali so. yeah. So I came up with a solution, gave by muet official website. Kalau hilang dan nak mintak balik, ada list of procedures dia. I'm gonna need to follow it. Experience what apakebenda dia suruh buat. Ada setem la, postal oder lah, barcode lah. May Allah ease everything. Transkrip pun tak uruskan lagi. (Apa aku buat pun aku tak tahu). Sijil SPM ha yes this thing ha very ridiculous you know. Need to go back to school when u've already finished ur school, like hey man, I have better things to do like sleeping. My precious time have been wasted for the going and taking the sijil and going back home. Sorry, got carried away. InsyaAllah, within a week semuanya akan selesai.

Masa masih ada 2 minggu lebih lagi. sigh.

Tiga. Ni bukan news la tapi. Ni pasal something personal. Saya ni bukanlah jenis banyak cakap. Memang serius, bosan gila kalau nak berbual dengan saya. So one-sided. Saya cuba jugak bergaul, lepas tu macam blank. Mulut saya tak nak buka. So yang first cakap biasanya bukan saya. Kawan-kawan saya pulak jenis cakap menyampuk cakap. Pernah rasa tak bila nak menyampuk dan tersasul sebab macam kena ganggu dengan orang lain punya cakap, and that perfect moment, dorang bagi perhatian kat kau. Bongok ah. haha. Suara saya pun jenis perlahan tau. entah mana suara saya hilang tak tahu. Lepas tu, konon nak mula berbual la dengan orang, lepas tu orang tu tak dengar. Hahaha. That feeling of being ignored. Okay, need to work with that.
Sepupu, kawan sekolah rendah menengah. sama je. Dorang tak paham mungkin cara saya. The worst part bila dorang terasa. ha janganlah.
At least I'm a good listener. wink.

My holidays is unofficially over. sayonara.
cries
 

pencapaian

Assalamualaikum,

Jadi...dah berapa bulan jugak saya duduk rumah ni. Macam nak tengok jugaklah apa pencapaian saya. Well, not much  but every detail counts.

Saya dah buat gelang dan jual (almost habis).

Saya mula online shopping. (Now this, I want to brag about)
Dah alang-alang duduk rumah ni saya pun mula tengok instagram and facebook about online shopping. Saya tengok harga and then purchase. Banyak cons dia sebenarnya, sebagai contoh, first saya beli kasut. Cantiklah dalam gambar (real pun lawa) tapi material ek ok. haha. Keluaran china mungkin. Sedihlah jugak sebab benda tu kalau jual biasa murah jugak. Experience though. Lepas tu, kita tak boleh nak undo belian kita. We're actually doing a blind biding. Kena tipu tu ada kemungkinan. Tanpa dapat barang atau dia bagi barang tak cukup (macam saya beli lens camera). It was supposed to be 3 in 1 lens then what I got only 2 of them. Nak tau macam mana liciknya dorang en, lens tu ada penutup, the third lens tu dia bagi penutup je. Kecewanya hanya Allah yang tahu. But well, tak boleh buat apa-apa. Sekarang, saya tengah tunggu barang lagi. Taknak gembira sangat supaya tak kecewa sangat. (please, please, please)

Accident
First time I had an accident that almost cost us life. Tapi kes nya masih dalam siasatan. Masa tu pertama sekali saya ikut imtiyaz girls dengan aktiviti dorang. Ada aisyah, kpah, aliaa, sarah, azma, athirah. Untuk kali terakhir saya jumpa aisyah sebelum dia gerak mesir. (Sekarang, dia selamat berada di mesir. Alhamdulillah. Semoga dia dapat belajar dengan baik. Amin.) Masa tu, saya sorang je tak cedera sangat. Yang lain macam minor injury je. So I step out of the car first. Semua masa tu tergamam. Berapa minit jugak lah dalam tu. Driver lagi sorang tu yang datang kat kitorang. Dia cakap "korang ok?" (dalam hati baiknya). Lepas tu, ha kau, marah marah. (it's a dude with his mom). Lepas tu, rupa-rupanya jiran aliaa je. haha. Ayah aliaa tolong handle sikit-sikit.

Haha, well not so achievement la actually. More like experience. Apa-apa pun saya berterima kasih sangat apa-apa pun. Untuk semuanya. Thanks.

(Ma books have not been read yet. huwaa)

Loading cerita bulan 5

Assalamualaikum,

 Sudah kubilang bulan mei ni sibuk betul macam apa je. Berderet aktivitinya kate kau. okay okay apa-apa pun biar saya cerita apa yang jadi semua hahaha.

Birthday saya. yeay! 180514.

Okay. Mula-mula semua start wish saya thru fb and ws and all the social network available. Terima kasih semua. Walaupun macam takat perkataan-perkataan. But at least korang sanggup tulis that good words. Semoga Allah berkati anda semua. Tapi yang sedih keluarga sendiri tak wish. :'( Saya buat kerja sume and nothing happen. Semua buat dek. Saya merajuklah sampai tertidur. Then malam tu umi cakap jom keluar celebrate birthday ainul hehe. Then umi bagi beg tangan. Vintage kut. Mucho love to infinity umi. Lepas tu kan, saya cakap nak kek sebab macam biasalah tradisi sambut birthday dan saya pulak suka kek like crazy hehe. Tapi umi just drive balik. Merajuklah again. Then kat rumah, dah naik tangga la nak duduk atas je (merajuk), tetiba ha kau kena sing birthday, keluar dengan kek. Termalu-malu kau turun tangga balik.

BBQ abubakar. 190514

Esoknya pulak. Saya berbbq dengan budak abk. Saya ccuba buat yang mana belum selesai. Well, sometime there are people who worth fighting for. Terima kasih for the food dan kedatangan anda girls syida, aina, shafirah, nadiah, ainul, aliya, laikha and terima kasih kepada guys sebagai budak tolong bbq qayyum, raziq, pele dan faiz. and jadi driver kitorang, raziq. Terima kasih semua for yesterday. Had so much fun. Not to mention the bowling part, yang buat saya noob gila macam hape. Last part baru nak strike bagai, tapi semua dah terlambat hahaha. Apa-apa pun thanks semua. Gonna miss uolls. Yang lain tu, lenkali kita jumpa ya. Bila pun tak tahu. Yang ni pun macam hape je untuk realisasi kan semua. Tapi terima kasih semua. Terima kasih banyak banyak :')

perempuan melayu

jejaka idaman

Lepas ni ada lagi cerita. Bukan pengakhirannya InsyaAllah.

itu je.

wasalam

xoxo

a story to be learn

Assalamualaikum,

Saya ada tengok satu cerita ni. Saya reflekkan kat diri saya. Obviously orang akan cakap, it's just a man-based work, no big deal la bro. Yelah hang. Takkan ada cerita tanpa asal usul dia.

Well, the story goes like this. Ada sorang laki ni, dia tak dengar cakap mak dia. Mak dia amik kunci kereta dia. Mak dia cakap duduk, dengar mak cakap. She said not to do this and that. That guy tak nak dengar, obviously. It's our nature to not listening (heh) as a child. He ended up saying to his mom, give my keys back (politely). Nampak macam kurang ajar en. Macam mana la kita dengan parents kita plak. Mari muhasabah diri.

Kita punya pandangan pulak. Parents kita mengongkong. Tengok budak-budak lain semua dapat je apa dorang nak. Apa masalah kau nak banding-bandingkan orang? Semua orang lain-lain kan. Kita cuma kena bring out the good side of us. Of our family. Simple en? yet no one listen.

Ceritanya sekarang, kita duduk kat rumah parents kita, makan duit parents kita, guna minyak kereta parents kita, sekolah guna duit parents, etc and all yet we still didn't see the right of our parents about everything? Has that even occurred to you? And yeah as the nature of greedy human, we still want more. Oh yes, kalau dah kerja sendiri en, jet jet dah ada duit sendiri en, apa lagi enjoy ah. Shopping sana sini. Baju, skirt, shawl, shoes ya Allah, everything a girl could ever wish for. And kita sewonok membelanja, bila nak sambung study mintak duit parents. Okay okay, at the very least tak shopping guna duit parents. Betul idok.

Semua ada pandangan masing-masing untuk back up diri sendiri. Come on lah. Kita tutup mata tentang kesalahan kita by any good way of manipulating the fact, that's a lawyer business la. hmmmm

well that's it.
xoxo.
wasalam.

Perkara yang dinanti-nantikan

Assalamualaikum,

Saya baru dapat keputusan asasi. Alhamdulillah masih dalam lingkungan okey. Untuk upu punya belum keluar lagi. Mungkin minggu depan. Bulan mei ni  penuh pulak kalau tengok balik. Terasa penat. Semua nak berlaku serentak tau. Bukan nak tunggu dua tiga minggu or so. Tapi saya betul-betul bersyukur saya dapat keputusan ni. Sekarang tengah tengok course pulak. Pray for me.

Lagi satu pula, baru baru ni saya macam pergi shopping macam tu. I spend almost 2 hundred in a week. Oh my Allah. Baru-baru ni, saya ada terbaca kalau rezeki kita diberkati, kita akan dapat benda yang tahan lama bukan yang sia-sia. Barang tu boleh tahan sampai bertahun-tahun. And let see the stuff I bought. Nonsense. crap and everything. On top of that, I learned that I dont receive anything with that.

Saya betul-betul rasa sedih. Sebab ni tanda saya punya rezeki takde berkat. Saya dapat tapi semua ke tempat lain. Ended up, I have nothing. It is so sad I want to cry everyday. hmmmmm. The worst part of it, bila dah konon-konon bertaubat, lepas tu lalai balik. Sad isn't it? Knowing that you've lost but you still don't want to ask direction.

I'm gonna make this go right. Pry for me. Hard. Thank you
Wasalam
xoxo

3 minggu kemudian

Assalamualaikum,

Jadi sekarang saya secara sahnya dah berada di rumah 3 minggu dah duduk kat rumah. Yeay me! You've been a very good girl. NOT!! Cuba tengok sikit apa kejayaan yang telah anda lakukan.

Oh yeah, saya dah berjaya buat berapa utas gelang (utas ke?), dan kemungkinan dapat beberapa hengget. Saya masih belajar buat gelang ni. Tengah cuba nak buat design lain. mehehe. Saya tak bagitahu orang saya buat. Biar nanti saya pro betul-betul and tak rasa merendah diri dengan kekurangan kat gelang saya. Cun? Biar ni rahsia kita je na~

Masalah 3 minggu ni pulak, pelan saya untuk cuti ni tak jadi pulak. Takde semangat. Iaitu lesen. Keluarga saya ni (my dad lah) jenis tak bagi kitorang naik kereta tanpa pengawasan dia dan dia cuma ada sabtu ahad je yang act macam takde sebab dia kena hantar najla tuisyen, pergi rumah nenek etc. Kesimpulannya, saya cuma boleh naik kereta bila mana? bila saya dah ada kereta sendiri sama dengan 5 tahun lagi. Takpelah. When the time comes. I'll ride it until the world end. Sekarang benda tu tak bermakna sangat sebab saya cuma nak keluar dengan keluarga saya je :'( That feeling when you have full house. Rasa rumah besar pun tak cukup. Ni kosong sangat. Sedih weh. Apa la yang umi abuya rasa en...jadi nanti dah kahwin nanti saya nak ramai anak. InsyaAllah.

Selain tu, saya pikir nak macam beribadah camtu lah. I mean, I have all the time. Haram. Takde pape. Kosong. Sebelum ni konon sibuk belajar, jet jet dapat lah 4 flat cenggitu. Sembang. 4 flat tak dapat, pahala ibadah pun kosong. Okey okey. Masih ada masa. Saya akan lakukan yang terbaik. Lagipun rejab dah datang dah ni. Mari lakukan yang terbaik okey semua.

Selain tu, saya tidur makan tidur macam biasa la. Bangun pukul 12-1 tengah hari. Subuh bukan subuh dinosaur kay. Subuh jemaah lagi. Tu pun sebab umi kejut, kalau tak mimpi lah. Makan tu entah, sebab makanan kat rumah selalu habis. Yelah, ada pemakan di rumah ehehe. Cuba teka siapa. Nampak tak bosan.

Lagi satu saya nak masak pastri semua. Semua suruh buat tu buat ni tapi bukannya beli barangnya pun. Jadi saya dah beli barangnya sendiri. Minta duit kat abuya. Tengoklah nanti saya nak buat apa. Saya tak share gambar mungkin sebab macam entah, privasi. Biarlah orang nampak macam saya ni tak buat kerja, mengganggur sepanjang masa. Kalau saya share kan saya rasa macam orang stalk saya hmmm. Tapi saya suka tengok orang lain punya la. Macam inspiring geghehehe. Semoga makanan tu keluar seperti yang diharapkan haha.

Jadi itu je.
wasalam
xoxo

my precious memory

Assalamualaikum,

I've got something to confess. It's a long story. But this is seriously a real one. Seriously.

After so many years (15 actually) I've found out that I have issue in making friends. Yeah, that took a while. But hey, I like to be alone. With my own books, hearing my own musics, sitting there where nobody will hurt me or vice versa. When it comes to my ex-classmates (A8), it turns out, I hurt their feelings. I mean, I've been very cold to them. Nahh, I'm the one who's hurt. hmmmm

First I met a group of people who live at the same block with me. There was hidayah, izzah, aina, amirah (except for her), and fatihah. We talked to each other but well let just say it's an awkward conversation when this group started to split up to the talkative side and the not-so-speaking-session side. I didnt mind that, well a little bit, because I'm the quiet one. Who doesn't? And then we need to make groups in the first class. Fatihah was on the other side of the class because there's not enough chairs for her. I somehow felt responsible to have her in my group, instead of my other same-block member. And then, somehow, she has her own group while my other member already group up. Well, what do you expect I felt like? Betrayed, angry, frustrated and yeah that sums up everything. But then, it turns out I'd be in a group with fatihah. My 'wish' comes true. Yeay me. I went back and somehow felt like not wanted. I've told my mother, but the least she can do is bracing me up, telling everybody have gone through this bla bla bla, felt pity. Honestly I cried. It didn't went well after all. hmmm. It's the first week of my studies, and it almost shows my path toward the end. Great.

However, Fatihah seems to be nice to me. I thought that maybe she didn't realise I would felt that way. So let bygone be bygone. One fine day, I brought a camera. I took some picture of my classmates. They were so awkward back then. And then, she wants to take a look. Well, in my opinion, it's my stuff, my little precious, my all selfie-taking gadget. So I politely say no to her. Suddenly, she snatched it. Okay. She scrolled it down, so I just say don't look at that pictures while covering the camera and guess what, she didn't listen. Atta girl. She pulled the camera away and whoosh, there you go, my all big time of selfie. Lots of them. I've never thought I took so much. And she laughs. I felt like being betrayed one more time. That feeling, that heat of anger. I'm so pissed off because she totally crossed the line. I really hate that to infinity. That was a really big mistake that I would never forgive from anybody (until now actually) From that onward, I've never been any closer to them, her specifically. Teruk kan? hmmm

to be continued...

random

Assalamualaikum,

Haha, motif post ni. Nothing. Just wanted to show everyone this cute dory's gif. muhehehe. Nah everyone.

Ni pun maksudnya jangan berputus asa, even if you don't know tomorrow will still be there for you.

Wasalam

Loading...

Assalamualaikum,

Korang semua pernah tak terpikir satu senarai. Macam wishlis or what-to-do list. I have those and tend to share them. haha. Maybe someday you can take it as your wishlist too. And feel the joy of success in something, even how crazy it is.

1. Show nothing.
Sejak berkumpul dengan orang ni, saya sedar betapa manisnya nikmat kaya tu. Dapat beli tu, ni. Materialistik. Tapi, bila fikir balik, semua benda ni tah pape. Bayangkan kita nak impress orang dengan barang kita. Gosh. So this is my wishlist. Saya nak tunjuk saya ni takde apa-apa. The one who thinks I'm just fabulous that way, mungkin kawan yang saya cuba cari. Cukuplah apa yang saya ada.

2. Jangan boros.
Sebab saya ni pun bukan kalangan orang-orang kaya. Yang kayanya, my parents. Tapi kalau kaya pun, of course korang takkan beli barang yang murah. So eventually people have the same level of property. Faham tak? Try jelah fikir. Maksud boros saya ni pun, makanan. I can't resist them you know. Thank Allah, for giving me such body. Taklah cepat sangat naik berat badan haha. Mungkin baju jugak, perempuan en. Pray for me.

3. Starting business
Alang-alang saya ni suka baju, saya cuba buat bisnes ni. Mungkin sikit je saya dapat. Tapi, kalau kumpul banyak-banyak, okaylah jugak. Better dari takde. Tapi, ni semua kena ada modal. So saya kena kerja jugak. Duit tak jatuh dari langit ye anak-anak. Saya pun nak kena tampung diri sendiri untuk studies nanti. Or even for future. Kesian my parents, struggle so hard. Kena tampung anak-anak dorang yang banyak karenah ni. So, at least, I lessen their burden eh~

4. Create something.
Ni susah sikitlah. The spirit is there, but nothing can be done. I'm thinking of making some piece of clothes. Tapi, takde sewing machine. Mungkin saya akan buat guna tangan. Lets just see how it turned out to be. Haha. Please dont expect to much, it would really turn you down. At least I'm happy, I've achieved it, no?

5. upcoming...

Want to try, dear me? Be my guest, and share if you all does your's. I really want to know. Experience excites me, and bear in mind, I'm a very good listener. itu je.

wasalam

Cycle day

Assalamualaikum,

now now dear readers. Jangan menggelabah, cause I am now haha. Saddap me. Tadi saya dan kawan-kawan keluar beriadah. Kitaorang pergi ke Bukit Cerakah, my once favourite place to have fun. Dulu kitaorang pergi sana untuk mandi swimming pool. But today, we have barbeque. Yaey! That's what the whole plan of it. Everything seems new. Keseluruhan. More convenient, easy to say. There were 9 of us, Allysha, nabilah, shahmy, mimi, (faris, firdaus, amir *I didn't even know them*); they were ttdi classmates before. And then we join in, as me and azraa. Then, Maz and her sister maz-q (they called her). Sweet girl I say.

Mula-mula kitaorang gerak naik basikal. Pergi kayuh ke ladang buah. Tangkap gambar kat tempat yang cantik macam tu, trying new monopod, allysha's and Faris's. Banyak gila, tapi kat phone dorang. Sedih. Lepas tu macam buat drama pulak (allysha) sebab dia macam sorang-sorang tertinggal. And my bike was so fast (I like it though), I left everyone at the back. I had so much fun cycling. haha. Thanks to them for giving me such opportunity. Big love. And then, kitorang gerak naik bas pulak, ke tempat 4 musim tu. Kat situ ada tempat barbeque. So, as we planned, we set up everything there. Tiresome as the charcoal didn't cooperate, but it's an experience what. I have never set up the barbeque thingy. Each and every barbeque, somehow they just using the stoves, or some guy just handle it. And the food came out well enough. for now. My stomach still didn't have any problem with it. Eventually, we clean and tidy up everything and voila, to home we go.

Lepas tu, maz terpikir nak makan tutti fruitti, jadi allysha drive ke masalam. And then she sent me home. But, my family isn't there, so I jump into my own house (so awkward). Kak cah went back 10 min after, and here I am, in my house. Took a bath cause I have this unacceptable odour (daaa) after 9 hours in bukit cerakah.

Ada satu scene tu. Saya tengah jaga api dengan allysha. Allysha buat something and pandang saya. Lepas tu saya pandang tempat lain. Allysha marah. "ainul, kita tengah nak buat awak ketawa ni". Haha, tak perasan dia buat egg face. Lepas tu saya gelak lah hahaha. I'm surely gonna miss her. hmm

Walaupun macam awkward tapi, dorang pandai nak biasakan diri. Have a normal conversation. Almost envy at them. Buat saya rasa selesa jugak. Rasa macam bukan outsider lah. Thank you so much everyone.

at galeri pendidikan

Standing (from left): Amir, Firdaus, Faris.
Sitting (from left): Shahmy, mimi, azraa, me, maz, nabilah, allysha. (maz-q took this picture)

Wasalam.

Her

Assalamualaikum,

Cerita hari ni. Saya pergi rumah aisyah. Let me tell ya bout her. Dia ni kawan dengan saya sejak sekolah rendah. Darjah 6 baru saya start rapat dengan dia. Kitorang pindah kelas pertama sama-sama. Tapi, dia turun balik. Sedih gila masa tu. Lepas tu, dia masuk sekolah menengah sama dengan saya. SMK sek 7. Tak expect pun. Kelas sama. Apa lagi? satu geng lah. Dua tahun sama kelas. What do you expect? Tapi lepas tu dia kena tukar sekolah. Negeri sembilan. Masa tu memang serius susah nak jumpa. Walaupun dia duduk seksyen 8 dan saya duduk kat seksyen u12. Boleh dikira kitorang ni jiran gak. Tapi, tanpa izin Allah, memang tak jumpa. Masa tu lah saya tak free, masa tu lah dia tak free, masa tu lah takde transport, masa tu lah hujan, sakit dan sebagainya.

hai!

Tapi, saya jumpa dia tadi. Yeay! (menari) Mula-mula cakap nak cycling kat luar camtu, jalan-jalan. Tapi, abang aisyah tak bagi. Jadi kitorang duduk rumah je. But hey, best okay. Nak pergi rumah dia pun macam nak tercabut lutut. Saya muntah tengah jalan sebab badan terkejut. Tak warm up. Salah diri jugak sebab tak estimate jauh dia. Bila cycle baru perasaan betapa jauhnya rumah dia tu. (flip table) sampai tu, kitorang cerita sampai pukul berapa entah. Then tengok tv. Cerita lagi. Solat. Makan. Balik.

We have a quality time there. Face to face conversation. No activities. Just that. Best. My way to have fun.

Balik pulak satu hal. Saya kena tamparan hebat masa datang jadi saya call umi. "umi, can you fetch me at aisyah's?" "okay". Then apparently, there's someone else in the car. So the car didn't fit for the bicycle. Last-last, saya bagitahu umi "takpelah umi, saya balik sendiri" "la, okay" I dont know what umi's thinking, because somehow she should know such thing would happen. Mungkin sebab umi lupa kut. Dengan sedihnya saya pun naik basikal balik. Tapi masa tu cuaca mendung. Tak terik sebab masa tu pukul 3. Thank God. Saya pun cycle balik. Cycle balik tak rasa penat sangatlah. Tapi, predictable, sampai rumah, tumbang. Haha. 2 jam tak sedar. LOL

Apa-apa pun, saya rasa penat lelah saya tu worth it. Moga pertemuan kami hari ni dipenuhi keberkatan. InsyaAllah. And dia plan nak ke mesir. So I wish all the best for her. Amin.

That's it.
wasalam.
xoxo.

them

Assalamualaikum,

sempena pengakhiran saya dalam asasi 2013/2014, saya nak buat post ni. Saya dedikasikan ini semua kepada orang-orang yang teristimewa. Yang buat hari duka jadi sebaliknya. Hilangkan stress dan selesaikan masalah. Although not even solving it, well at least they were there when I need them. Walaupun cuma sebentar. Memang tak sempat buat banyak benda pun, tapi the memories are worthless. xoxo

Now this is what I'm talking about. R2307. This is my housemates. From the right, Azraa, Athirah, Maz, Nabilah, Wani, Yana, me :D , Allysha.

Azraa:

A sweet girl who I respect the most. The way she handle things professionally, the way she thinks about others, the way she interact with people. Maybe because of that people mistakenly thought she's one of akak degree. I would if I didn't know her. Mature I'll say. She always listen to my stories. She also have this kind of self confidence that I envy much. Ada satu hari tu, kitorang makan cendol. Termanis sangat masa tu and ais dia semua cair. Dia minta ais tu. Neglecting what the cendol man would say. Hahaha. Made my day. 

Athirah:

Dia ni pulak budak bijak. Dia hafal nota bio tu. What do you expect? Rajin, of course. Tabiat dia adalah bukak laptop dia, ngadap. Bukan macam orang-orang biasa ni, lagha. Dia explore. News, isu semasa, ceramah, info and etc. And then, dia akan share dekat kitorang. Best gila bila ada dia sebab saya bukan jenis yang membaca, so bila ada dia, I dont have too. LOL. We gather around and share each others stories. How I missed everything :'( And lagi satu dia ni suka betul dengan nasi. Portion nasi dia 2 kali ganda kitorang punya. or maybe 3 times. Amazed. 

Maz:

nahh. this girl is my long-lost twin. Ironinya, kitorang ada citarasa yang sama. Mostly on food. Makanan, silalah tanya dia. Semua dia dah makan. Even how she eat the food, tak suka dengan sup cenggitu. Sama dengan saya. Suka tiru saya xD And and not to forget, dia pun ada 5 orang adik beradik, 4 perempuan, sorang laki-anak ketiga, dia anak keempat. See. Ni sama betul dah ni. Dia comel, ala-ala tomboy tapi kalau kenal dia baru nampak dia perempuan. haha. Satu benda dia tak suka, cakap pasal exam yang dah lepas, markah. Saya selalu bayangkan dia marah sebab dia ada muka takde emosi. Marah tak happy mungkin. Entah. LOL. 

Nabilah:

Kawan saya yang peramah. She can act like she knows everyone a long time ago. Makes everyone comfortable. Masalah dia, lack of self-confidence. Dia selalu cakap kurang tu lah inilah, but I think she is fine with what she already have. Mungkin sebab ramai orang cakap pasal tinggi dia, and dia dikelilingi oleh ramai budak tinggi. Mungkin sebab tu. Dia suka dengar tips, petua semua. Dia suka bukak smartphone dia and gelak, cakap sorang-sorang. Sampai semua pikir dia tengah cakap dengan kitorang, but then dia cakap takdelah. Dah biasa dah. sedih en dengar? huhu

Wani:

Now, she's that girl who I called perempuan idaman ramai. Muka flawless gitu, putih. Suara dia pun lembut, sedap. Even right after exam, ada orang confessed. LOL. Pandai pun boleh tahan. Sem 1 dulu dia ajar kitorang. Tapi sem 2 Idk, somehow or rather, she's out of track, how would I say it, macam tak ajar kitorang dahlah. Dia punya pandai en, banyak gila tawaran dia dapat. Dia tolak. Mungkin sebab jodoh dia memang kat Palam hehe. And recently, dia dapat tawaran dwi-ijazah. (dua degree in a go) Gila en? itulah dia, gila. haha kidding kidding. Dia genius. Belajar nya sikit, kacau orang banyak lah. haih jelez.

Yana:

Ini pulak budak comel. Serius comel gila dia ni. Cara dia macam budak kecik. Cuma tinggi jelah. Eh, rendah lah dari saya. Dia ni suka share stories dengan saya, saya pun share jugak saya punya lah. Menyebabkan dia kenal ramai orang, yang saya ceritakanlah. And that's how I know, people are unpredictable. Saya amazed dengan dia. She's a determinant girl. When she said that, don't argue. A shy girl. And indirectly, she resembles my younger sister. Somehow, I don't know where, but she is. Dia ni pun tak suka share markah dia. Humpph. Baru-baru ni ada banyak musibah menimpa. Saya cuma doakan dia je. InsyaAllah dia memang seorang yang kuat. 

Allysha:

Ha, ni dia kena highlight sikit. Dia nilah room mate saya. Tapi, dia setiap minggu balik. Hmm. Biarkan saya cakap dengan dinding. Dia ni has a very good sense of humour, more like sarcasm. But it comes out well. I'll remember her egg face. Only she can do it, because she invented it. daaa~ And I can laugh just by looking at her. Dia ni popular, insta, twitter. Quite a stalker. Randomly. An organise person. I would show you her closet, but that's private. She brings everything, it almost the whole house. But. hear this out. This is only for the sake of the whole house. Baik en dia? Dia kan selalu balik, so almost setiap kali balik palam, dia bawak balik barang. I'll remember her beloved sausage too. Sometimes she shared her problem. Maybe I didn't solve it, she just need time. We argued. We aren't in the same team, and we were against each other like every time. Sometimes I'm angry but nahhh, that's how she is. Apa susah, kenakan dia balik. wahaha. Semua macam belah saya, most of the time, bukan sebab apa, reaksi dia buat semua suka. Kitorang jarang ada sakit hati, even ada pun, rasa macam hilang camtu je. Pelik en. Pada pendapat sayalah. Tapi, ada pernah dia merajuk dengan saya. Satu kali jelah. Salah saya, memang salah saya. A massive sincere sorry from me.

Banyak lagi lah kalau nak di senaraikan. Kalau nak ceritakan betapa kompleksnya manusia ni, memang infiniti lah jawabnya. All the flaws maybe shown once you're comfortable with people. I can accept theirs flaws, hope they accept mine. Saya minta maaf dari lubuk jantung saya atas segala kesalahan saya. You always see my flaws. Orang cakap kalau nak kenal orang, duduk, musafir dengan dia. And now, you know me. Hmm. Thanks a lot for everything. The pizzas, kfcs, coolblog, cameras, smartphones, ipad, games, everything. big love for you alls.

xoxo

wasalam

When the time comes

Assalamualaikum,

Hari ni saya balik rumah jap. Hehe. Nak isi upu pada awalnya. Kemudian drag drag drag as usual la. Akibatnya exam ke laut. *echo* Pedulikan semua itu. The thing I want to tell ya is nothing...it's just touchy.

We went to a restaurant. Big brother dekat seksyen 7. Marvellous. Kenyang. Then, ada satu family ni dia macam ada anak-anak kecil. Anak perempuan dia terjatuhkan air. And her parents macam marah sikit but in a calm mode. Sebab kat public kut. And then, umi mula cakap macam mana kitorang dulu. How my dad got angry. How we got scolded. How my mom try to calm everyone down. How public try to act like nothing happen but kept distracted to us. Each and everyone of us are naughty, like out of this world kind of naughty. But then, my mom survived all that. We have grown up. It have been like 7 years ago, plus minus. And then, no more scary captain as our dad. He is now a father that I can ever think I could have. He has been better now. As for my mom. As usual but more lovely than ever.

The wrinkles has now shown all over their faces. White hair. Back aches. After that, my dad seat at the back. Dia nak tahu macam mana kitorang rasa dulu. Perasaan kitorang apabila dia jaga dulu. Adik saya pun dah besar. Dia mula bercakap macam orang besar. (But we find it so cute) Then, kitorang saje round round kat rumah orang koyo koyo with all that big big houses. Semua cantik-cantik. Tapi, satu je, kalau isi dia sikit, still tak best. Umi dengan abuya sekarang tengah rasa benda yang sama. Diorang tengah berada dalam fasa anak-anak dorang ada masa depan untuk dikejar. Bila kitorang balik, dorang suka sangat. Mana kitorang nak pergi diorang ikut. Walaupun kadang-kadang tak dapat puaskan hati semua orang, but I had fun today.
Dengan tengok umi dengan abuya je. Ini bukan propa tapi cerita sebenar dari hati.

Tetiba terpikir, tak tahu lah nanti macam mana saya habis asasi nanti en. Last-last end up tunggu bas kat fakulti nuh. haish

So itulah cerita saya hari ni. Had fun.
Wasalam
xoxo

exam sem 2

Assalamualaikum,

Dari hari ke hari, akhirnya sampai sudah si kesudahan cerita asasi. Exam la. Nak jadi ceritanya, saya baru habis test 2 tadi. Chemistry and physics. Sebelum ni biology and mathematics. Semua tough bak hang. Predictable lah en. Kalau takat exam tutup mata boleh jawab, bertimbun lah manusia-manusia tak guna otak jadi lecturer bajet bertauliah (takde maksud tersirat). Since bermulanya study week starting today, kawan-kawan saya pun ada lah yang balik rumah. Highlight untuk budak Terengganu tu la yana and athirah. Suka dorang. Yelah, bukan boleh balik selalu macam kitorang localians ni lol. I’m happy for them, infinitely much. Cuba bayangkan kita kat tempat dorang. Have fun korang kat rumah. Jangan lupa orang kat palam ni xoxo. K shaddap.

Lagi satu cerita, Azraa bagitau a huge news. Ayah dia kena tukar kerja kat around Arab area camtu. So, dia kena pergi sana jugak lepas jun camtu. Tapi, dia tak nak belajar kat sana atas sebab-sebab tertentu. but still hasn’t stated yet the exact place. She's still in the dilemma world. Well, in her situation, I think it would be better if she get scholarship to go overseas since she can talk fluently in English. But kadang-kadang tu cepat sangat macam rapper dah tersasul masul. Lol. But she is a very nice girl and really hope the best for her. Stay strong in the outside world, kalau ada jodoh kita jumpa *kening-kening*

Speaking about talking in English, saya dapat markah speaking test, and it was awful. Almost fail lah, masalah. Komen dia pulak ‘slow’. Highlight sikit. Satu perkataan, takde yang lain. I was like okay. Our madam said that I wouldn’t be hiring you, all of you (kitorang dalam kumpulan), to work under me, sorry. Well, she have been talking as if we were going for job interview and somehow people just make it as joke of the day. My classmates. Orang lain pulak cakap markah dorang rendah tapi 15/20. Rendah. My madam was also known by her belief that we uitmers are wasting rakyats money and end up as a junk full of rubbish (eh?) She somehow wants to lead us the right path (using her own way) and voila, my carry mark. Well, let’s just face the truth, I’m not very good in following her way but instead, felt jealous to those who get work less but more marks. Hmmph

So, exam is around the corner and I’m sitting here macam tak pandai nak belajar. Hehe. Me so wanna dig me own le grave. So pray for me. By the way, as a muslim kita tak boleh cakap good luck sebab there’s no such thing as luck in islam, it just come out that, it is what’s written for you but you can change it. ‘All the best’ is more suitable. Selamat beramal. Aplikasikan kepada saya please. I’ll be having my exam. Hew hew.

Thanks. Wasalam.

xoxo

Ikhlas.

Assalamualaikum,

Hari ni saya nak cakap pasal ikhlas. Have I mention to you all about my broadband, no? Okay, hear this out. Saya ada broadband yang bayar sekaligus RM83 for 4 month free 300 Mbps something that worth nothing to me. Cukup jadi tahi gigi je. It just for the sake of my mastering and facebook (elc). Nak jadi ceritanya, kawan saya tahu about this. Idk how but they know. And then they start to datang rumah saya sebab nak pinjam broadband.

Here some facts. Kawan saya ni dia tak berapa rapat dengan saya. Saya tak pandai nak tolak permintaan orang, lagi-lagi kalau dorang suruh tolong, unless memang saya tak boleh tolong. And I’m very particular berkaitan broadband ni. Yelah saya langgan sikit je, sekadar nak buat mastering.

Saya bukan tak nak ikhlas but somehow or rather, please have this kind of sensitivity. Mungkin jugak ni balasan saya sebab pinjam internet kawan saya dulu. Hmmm. Last-last saya tak bayar balik internet dia tapi orang lain yang guna. Ya. Mungkin tu sebabnya. Bukan rezeki saya nak guna internet tu. Rezeki dorang. Okay. Saya tak perli, ini serius. Okay, maybe it’s my fault. Tapi ini adalah inisiatif saya supaya tak bebankan kawan saya. Guna internet dia. I’m sorry for those yang saya pinjam, I’ll try my best to pay everything.

Since it’s very inconvenient, I’ll only blame UiTM for the insufficient of internet service yet giving the student online assignment. If you really can’t afford to have online assignment, why do you have the online system at the first place? Aiyoyo. Dahlah assignment nya menyusahkan. Kadang-kadang tu rasa macam nak give up je. Saya senang. Markah saya tak kesah. Serius. Asal jangan semua kosong.

Ni satu hal, budak Uitm ni pulak, time mastering semua ni, bukan dok belajaq dulu. Yang rajin tu lain cerita lah. Saya cerita yang dok tangguh keje sampai akhir masa, and then startlah tanya pasaipa jawapan jadik mcm gini? Apa jawapan dia? Aku dok perghati ja semua makheluk ni. And how the world is so unfair, orang yang buat dulu, belajaq buat sendiri tulah dapat markah sikit. And you know who is the one who gain 100% for the mastering.

Yang bijak dah buat dulu ni, bila ditanya-tanya banyak kali last-last dorang give up and kasik je jawapan. Gedebak begitu. Yang pemalas-pemalas ni apa lagi, rezeki jatuh dari langit. Bagai durian runtuh. Bagai bulan jatuh ke riba. Bagai dan segala bagai. Syukur ke hadrat Ilahi kata mereka.

Kalau orang cetek akal macam saya ni mesti tak suka dengan system ni, tapi Allah cuma tengok usaha bukan markah. So, I’ll try my best. Ikhlas. May Allah bless my work and may good thing always there besides me.

Apa-apa pun semua berbalik kepada kita. Ikhlas tak ikhlas. Rezeki kita lain-lain. Rezeki orang mungkin kita pegang. Rezeki kita mungkin orang pegang. Macam orang belanja saya big Apple hari tu. Rezeki jadi darah daging saya. Haha. Thanks.

So thats it people. Smile lah and act like the world of paradise awaits you on the other side. :D

.

Bismillah,

semoga roh budak asasi yang telah meninggal dunia baru-baru ni tergolong dalam golongan orang yang beriman. It have been a huge news since most asasian ada bersama. I mean, kawan kawan dia semua. since there's no Saturday class. People say he was a nice guy. Lepas subuh dia take a nap kjap and then, no more. May he rest in peace.

Sampai bila kita masih ada kesempatan ni? Semua sibuk melayan dunia. Siapkah kita menghadapi sakaratul maut?Although I say this, somehow I just know that Ill start to forget or maybe try to forget. Things that was supposed to be kept in mind yet very easy to erase. To be honest, I haven't felt anything. My mind haven't get the true light. Hidayah? Mampukah saya cari kembali setelah saya mengabaikannya selama ini? Seronok dengan dunia hingga kewajipan dilupakan.

I'm somehow speechless. Trying to digest what news had happened. and then, the next day I'll forget everything. I haven't cry for a long period now. I felt burdened because of that. I felt my heart is just as cold as ice now. I am so so so far away from Allah.

Still in the world that would fade away

Assalamualaikum,

As you can see now people, I’m getting older.  Dunia makin kelihatan menarik dan akhirat semakin pudar dari ingatan. Saya sedih bila sedar tentang statement tu, tapi saya still tak dapat cari balik diri saya yang dulu…isk…isk

Saya nak flashback since asasi will end soon, about this april or may. Saya sedih. Kawan serumah saya, kawan sekelas saya, and the person I’ve been keeping my eyes on. Bolehkah kita jumpa lagi lepas ni? Still ada jodoh ke lagi? Manusia ni kadang-kadang bukan lupa tapi sebab diorang takde masa untuk spend time together. Jadi statement ini memang sangat sangat menusuk kalbu saya. I wish I have the strength to stay strong.

For the one I have been keeping my eyes on, saya minta maaf kalau saya menyusahkan. Since you’re a guy, I would rather say goodbye, even if it’s hard. Eceh. Takkan lah kita nak dok jumpa selalu kan? Nak mesej selalu pun, sampai bila? I think you didn’t even give me hitam putih. And I’m actually confused about this relationship. Apa-apa jelah. Kalau ada jodoh, kita jumpa. Kalau tak, friend works well with me. Ye dok? Honestly, sape sanggup say goodbye?

Sooner or later, kita semua akan berpisah. Meeting new people will make us wiser, saying goodbye build up our strength. Saya cuma harap saya dapat cari strength tu. Oh I wish…

P/s: saya sayang semua!! muah muah

So then, adioosss

Wasalam.

menghakimi?

Assalamualaikum.

Satu hari tu, saya macam sembang-sembang dengan kawan-kawan saya. Gossiping of course. Cakap pasal someone yang macam dikenali ramai, macam tweetfamous, insta and etc. Sosial liddat. And then, katakanlah B, dia terkejut and sort of judge them as T E R U K. kemudian lagi sorang pulak, Z, cakap don’t judge people by the looks.

How about we look at the content shall we? Let us be in their shoes.

Z dibesarkan dalam surrounding that almost everyone sosial liddat. She knows them well. Perwatakan dorang, baik lagi in the common sense as a human being. Y pulak memang surrounding dia sekolah agama liddat. Not a very pious girl but knows the right thing to be done. (this means both sides win as they think based on their knowledge)

What I can conclude here is, people judge. Tapi seteruk mana pun judge seseorang tu, still ia adalah keburukan yang kita tunjukkan. Jadi macam perlu je nak ubah. Macam perlu je. Note to self, Jangan salahkan orang yang judge kita. Kita nak marah diorang balik, suka hatilah. Still, keburukan kita samada simpan atau ubah *sama je actually*

Yang saya tak suka pulak, bila situasi dia kena judge sebab cara dia memang teruk, dia tak ubah, and macam seolah-olah menyalahkan Allah sebab ciptakan dia begitu. Sila gali lubang tujuh kaki dan masuk and timbus balik guna tanah.

P/s: if you somehow my friend who I talked about, I'm sorry if this is disturbing.

So that’s it.

Wasalam.

Siapa tak nak?

Memang lumrah manusia nak cari the mr. or mrs. Right diorang. In fact, ada yang dah jumpa pun. Alhamdulillah. Tapi, saya bukan nak cerita pasal tu, saya nak cerita pasal cari the si dia, especially pweety people. Btw, this is not about me. Well enjoy. Sila ambil iktibar. Note to self.

There are certain persons who were born with attractive face, melt guys heart with just a smile. Masalah dia pulak, bukan takde orang nak. Terlalu ramai la pulak. Muka cantik la katakan. Semua berebut. Tapi, end up every relationship didn’t work out. There are few conclusions I’ve made. Maybe, both have the thought on just playing with each other’s heart. Tak serius la maksudnya. Mungkin jugak, si wanita mempunyai attitude yang tidak berapa digemari orang. Yelah, first kenal buta cinta, lama kenal dah lain cerita. Ye dok? Mungkin jugak si lelaki curang sebab pikir diri tu hensem sangat. Orang cantik mesti nak hensem gak en, so cam yang si hensem tu curang etc bla bla. Saya ulang ini bukan nak cerita buruk cuma nak buat jadi pengajaran. Mungkin si wanita rapat dengan lelaki even though she’s in relationship with someone (vice versa). Juga, segala kemungkinan yang mungkin berlaku.

The thing is, tak kisah la kau cantik macam mana pun, laki gila dengan kau, perempuan gila dengan kau, everyone has their own way of despair. Even Cinderella becomes a slave, before she met her prince charming. If not, it will be a whole different story of her. Jangan sedih laki or perempuan tak nak kat kita. Siapalah kita nak mengharap kat orang en. Akhirnya, kecewa tahap infiniti sorang-sorang sebab manusia have the tendency on crushing people hearts secara tak langsung #fact. Berserah. Doa. InsyaAllah. Hanya Allah yang tahu apa yang terbaik untuk kita.

p/s: kalau dah jumpa si dia, cepat-cepatlah kahwin. Biar hubungan tu diberkati selalu. Amin. Biarlah kita dan si dia vogue di mata semua in such way that Allah pleased with what we do.